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As military families, we are used to having to tackle the harder subjects in life, and we hit them head-on. We know we need to be honest with our kids about war, and about what our deployed service members are facing. However, there is always a balance between the truth about tragedy and information that could be too overwhelming for younger ears.
I was thinking about the horrific shooting early Friday morning at an Aurora, Colo. movie theater. How can we explain this tragedy and others like it to our children while maintaining a sense of trust? How can we assure they can be safe and still meet good people in this world?
How can we explain this tragedy and others like it to our children?
Before you put yourself in the situation of telling them too much, it’s always a good idea to explain a situation in very clear terms. Ask your child if he or she has any questions.
For example, you could say, “I know you heard about the sad story in the news today. Do you have any questions about it that I could help you with?”
When asking your child what they know and understand about the tragedy, listen to their answer carefully. Gently correct any misinformation as appropriate. Largely, it’s important to understand what they know and to reassure any fears they tell you about.
Truth and trust go hand in hand. Not being truthful can really harm trust in a relationship. It’s better to say, “I am not ready to tell you about that just yet” than it is to fabricate a lie in order to dodge a hard topic.
I have told my daughter from a young age that my job as a mother is to take care of her, and that includes keeping her safe. There have been times she wanted to know information that I could not share with her. I tell her, reassuringly, “In order to take care of you, I need you to trust that I know the answer, but I can’t tell you right now.” She’s learned that, as she gets older, I will tell her the truth in doses she can handle.
We all need some reassurance when our lives are marred by tragedy. Even if these tragedies do not affect us personally, the reverberating shock from an event can greatly disturb our peace and our sense of well-being.
Time itself if can be the best reassurance we have. Meanwhile, a lot of extra hugs, words of assurance and open discussion can help. It’s always good to point out that tragedies are not normal, so we should not stop going to the movies, to school, to our neighbors’ homes or any other place we like to go. We should not stop driving our cars when we see a horrible accident. We should not stop cooking if the stove burned your fingertip.
The most important thing is to reassure to your child that life should go on as normal.
Having our safety and security indirectly threatened by random acts of violence can cause us to grieve. It’s more of a vicarious type of grief, but it can feel intense and linger for a while. Some of these emotions may range from shock and disbelief to anger and intense sadness. What a grieving person needs is time, support and lot of love from family and friends.
During the time of a national tragedy, it may be a good idea to limit television and radio exposure. To sit in front of the news constantly can intensify feelings of sorrow or anger.
I was in Washington, D.C. on September 11, 2001. My oldest son was in high school at the time. I was away on a business trip. He sat and watched the footage of the attacks all day long in school. To this day, he will say that the constant exposure to the tragedy was very hard on him and burned images into his mind. I had to question the judgement of the school for allowing the constant exposure like that, especially for a child with a parent in the midst of the tragedy.
From very personal experience, I can tell you it’s better to shut the TV off and read a book together, watch a comforting movie together, go for a walk together and do things that start to normalize life again.
Photo courtesy nicubunu.photo
One Comment
http://alraseed.com/vb/showthread.php?t=9181
burrows of oppression
and dictatorship to democracy and horizons Security Message of
appeal to the Iraqi people to the
peoples of European and American.
Human rights are the rights and
freedoms meriting to each person to merely his being a human and ensure that
laws and guarantee legislative regulations in most countries of the world
protect human rights, Despite this, these regimes are not always effective and
unable, mostly for the adoption of some human rights, the international
standards to ensure the adoption of these rights when governments cannot protect nor can there be any form of
Democratic Governance, justice or the rule of law or security without respect
for human rights therefore that the target of respecting humanity is to spread
the language of dialogue between communities and peoples as means to defend the
claim and ensure the performance and commitment to human rights natural,
religious and legal. We in Iraq have suffered greatly from lack of human
rights, still suffering at this stage that we are supposed to have got rid of
Saddam’s dictatorship and the start of a new stage of freedom and democracy .
But, unfortunately, did not we feel real change, but changed names only the
practices do not still the same. After the entry of the Americans and their
allies in Iraq and adoption process of change and embrace the political process
in Iraq and for removing the slogans bright and titles rhetoric and support for
governments, particularly the Maliki government that has emerged named dictator
a new reality in Iraq bitter have not touched carry out the promise coalition
forces to the Iraqi people as the Maliki government is now characterized by
violence severely, injustice and confiscation of the rights and muzzling and
therefore get lost in Iraq and his people, the dark stone.What we regret is
disregard allied to what is happening in the Iraqi battleground and lack of
commitment to their promises to the Iraqis and therefore did not deter from the
contrary to what drawn by him from the policy be beneficial and safety for the
Iraqi people within democratic climate is free. It is worth mentioning that the
national leaders and projects that serve the interests of Iraq become center of
hostility to the government and its attempt to absence completely from the view
even if needed all violation of the morality and norms and laws. We in Iraq are
proud of very authority of religious Iraqi Arabic is the eminence Sarkhi
Hassani ( long live ) and the reason for cherished was a result of the
positions of national and humanitarian that have characterized this authority
authentic, prompting this authority have to give tax and her patriotism,
principles and sincerity in serving the people of Iraq through the exposure is
and its followers and lovers of and its supporters to worst types of crime,
torture and the violation and the absence, What happened in Nasiriyah is only
the little of the over_ plus of what is happening at this authority original in
particular and what is happening on the Iraqi people in generally. The
government has shut down offices of the authority and the demolition of mosques
preach and the arrest of followers and strike them with live bullets and sound
bombs and poisonous gas and tear gas and constriction on them and chase them
and prevent demonstrations demanding the rights of the Iraqi people, as well as
depriving the Iraqi people from the facilitate requirement of happiness living
and his survival in disarray and under the pressure of deprivation and poverty,
terrorism, prison . so it bases several appeal to you , Oh peoples that
respects humanity in the name of democracy, freedom, justice, humanity and
morality that you speak your responsible and your governments that came to Iraq
and called for freedom and democracy and raised emblem rhetoric and welfare
promised us and say to them that the Iraqi people has not reaped a thing of the
your promises nor pending is still stuck
in the resolution of injustice and tyranny, violence and deprivation, not remain
idle by and disregard of what is
happening in Iraq from the robbery of the wealth and waste of wealth and
deprivation and attacks on all sides and levels, and demand the rights of the
Iraqi people morale and financial, the responsibility to you, Oh people, the
responsibility of your responsible and Government
I put Between your hands some of the
tragedies and scourges suffered by the Iraqi people and especially his
authority Arab and Iraqi religious followers and lovers and supporter
.
http://www.al-hasany.com/vb/showthread.php?t=312137
http://www.al-hasany.com/vb/showthread.php?t=317238
http://www.al-hasany.com/vb/showthread.php?t=317790
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