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Many times a key part of coping with a deployment is keeping the mind busy. It sounds simple enough, but when military spouses are facing six months to a year without their spouse, trying to stay busy can get exhausting.
Making a deployment bucket list can ease the burden a bit and turn the months of deployment into a time for personal growth. It’s OK to spend some time considering what you can accomplish before your spouse returns, from travel and career building to fitness and social interaction.
Here are some popular ideas to consider:
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A structured and supportive family readiness group (FRG) can make it easier for military spouses to cope with the challenges they face. Unfortunately, not all spouses have the good fortune. FRGs can be inactive, nonexistent or poorly organized.
Military Spouse Central‘s Adrienne May is the spouse of a National Guard service member and has had experience with an ineffective FRG. She managed to find a way to get information and support:
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Plans are often tentative in the military. A road trip alone may have a plan A, B, C, D and still not work out. Road trips come and go, but what happens when a military couple wants to plan their once-in-a-lifetime wedding?
Some military couples may have their dream wedding no problem, but it isn’t uncommon for an enlistment date, assignment, deployment or other military-related circumstance to call for some sacrifice and compromise.
Many couples consider vow renewals or second ceremonies. If you’re one of those couples, here are a few things to think about: See More
Whether it’s primal nature or simply learned behavior, humans tend to create and follow a pecking order. For military members and their families, it’s easy to fall victim to “rankism.” A service member’s rank can dictate much more than responsibilities they have at work; it can affect relationships and expectations among spouses as well.
If you’re curious as to whether you contribute to rankism or are interested in changing your perspective, here are some signs and solutions: See More
Military spouses learn to cope with the additional challenges and responsibilities they face with their spouse’s dangerous work, whether deployed or at home. Spouses at home may be in a constant state of worry, but it can come as a shock when a close call takes away any sense of invincibility. Spouses can no longer deny the realities they keep themselves from considering.
When a spouse hears of a close call, they may be overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. Here are some ways to help cope with the challenges of distance and dangerous work:
Military families don’t always get to rank their priorities. A marriage often endure deployments, PCSs, and TDYs in addition to work, school, children and everyday life. That mix can make a healthy marriage fall pretty far down the list.
Sometimes a marriage need a little reinforcement to ride out the inconsistencies of military life. Whether it’s to revive or just maintain a healthy marriage, here are some resources designed specifically for the military marriage: See More
Military spouses know how to hold down the fort while their spouse is deployed, but there are times when he or she just needs a momentary distraction from it all. Spouses may go to work and keep busy, but many can’t escape even fleeting feelings of loneliness or worry.
If that’s the case, here are some fun ways to distract the mind a little and cope with the hardship of deployment. See More
Military spouses endure a lot of challenges living the military lifestyle. Some obvious ones include deployments, PCSs and constantly changing circumstances. Beyond the day-to-day, some spouses have to deal with the additional challenge of assuring their spouse they are invested and willing to hang tough in the face of uncertainty and often trying times.
It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it. Here are a few ways you can express solidarity and work to ensure your military spouse knows you’ll always be there for them: See More
Having a relationship in the military requires a great commitment to the lifestyle on both sides, but what happens when it’s time to decide whether to extend that commitment? Is it the service member or spouse that has the ultimate decision, or both? So many factors can play into a reenlistment decision including finances, career development and family.
Military Spouse Central asked for spouse opinions in which resulted in a few different approaches. Here are some to consider: See More
At least once a year each military branch hosts a formal military ball in which spouses can attend.
It’s an exciting time for military communities to get together, but often times, spouses get anxious about what to expect as they honorably represent their service member. Each branch runs their event differently, so some of the following advice varies, but here are a few general things spouses may want to know about military balls:
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