The additional stress of being a parent or spouse in the military community can make finding and keeping a job even harder. For this reason, the military community has been a primary focus for FMLA legislation over the past 20 years. Recent changes to FMLA specifically address issues faced by the military community.

The modern employee is no longer tied to a cubicle with the use of laptops, tablets and smart phones use dominating the workplace.

Updates to Exigency Leave

The biggest changes came in defining and extending what is considered exigency leave. Members and family members of all regular Armed Forces and National Guard or Reservists qualify for up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave due to active duty or a call to duty. The definition of active duty was further clarified to specify only orders to or in a foreign country count.

Exigency leave also now includes parental care, where time may be taken off to arrange for the care of the parents of a military member. This doesn’t include providing the care themselves, but does cover the time it takes to arrange care from a third party.

Additionally, family members are now eligible to spend up to 15 calendar days bonding with a military member on R&R. These days may be taken intermittently and the number of days available should correspond to the length of leave.

Military Caregiver Leave

Eligible FMLA employees whose family members are recent veterans with injuries or illnesses that were caused by or aggravated by their service and this includes illnesses that present themselves during and or up to five years after service. Further explanation of covered illnesses can be found here or on the DOL website.

FMLA & The Modern Workplace

Other updates include expanding health care provisions, flight crew eligibility requirements and new rules for calculating the increments of intermittent FMLA leave. Although the protection provided by the FMLA is very useful for employees, especially those in the military community, there are some shortcomings that the law struggles to address. First, only about 60 percent of employees in the U.S. are covered, leaving the rest at the mercy of employers who may not be sympathetic to the work-life balance.

Additionally, the workplace itself is changing for many companies and the law should be following suit. Many companies are adopting more flexible schedules and considering the heavy reliance on the Internet and computers, the modern employee is more mobile than ever and potentially able to work from home. Just as it is interesting to see how FMLA has changed over the years due to the needs of the communities that use it most, it will be interesting to see how FMLA changes to a culture that values a work-life balance more than ever before.

Image courtesy eperales

Recognizing the sacrifices military families make goes well beyond homecoming.

In a proclamation made on November 2, President Obama declared that this month, citizens make the extra effort to make note of the sacrifices military families make for this nation every day. In a quote from the proclamation, “I call on all Americans to honor military families through private actions and public service for the tremendous contributions they make in support of our service members and our Nation.”

Family Commitment

Every year, thousands of new recruits join their respective branches of the military and in doing so understand they are making a huge personal sacrifice to serve their country. Although these individuals deserve much praise, what many don’t think about is the joint sacrifices their family, friends and loved ones will make as well.

The proclamation recognizes this family investment in service members by saying “When a young woman signs up to defend our nation, her parents are enlisted as well. When a father deploys to a combat zone, his children are called to serve on the home front. And when the men and women of our military serve far from home, their families feel the strain of their absence.”

Year-Round Support

Even the smallest members of military families make sacrifices and deserve recognition and support.

One of the most important aspects of this proclamation is to promote support of military families year-round. One of the best examples of this support is the Joining Forces campaign and their determination to help service members and their spouses find employment and military children succeed in school even after several moves.

The initiative has shattered their goal of 100,000 jobs pledged to veterans and military spouses by 2013, with over 125,000 pledges on the books.

Military Family Month, isn’t just about citizens recognizing the military community, it’s about the military community being proud and supporting each other. Be sure to check out military related organizations and events, which are common in November and get acquainted with other military families in your area.

As the proclamation states, members of military families are some of the finest folks you’ll ever meet. “In our military families, we see the best our country has to offer. They demonstrate the virtues that have made America great for more than two centuries and the values that will preserve our greatness for centuries to come.”

Images courtesy of The U.S. Army & DVIDSHUB

Sen. Patty Murray proposed a bill on June 19, which would expand fertility coverage for veterans and their spouses.

UPDATE: The bill referenced in this article passed the Senate on Wednesday, Dec. 12, but is not likely to pass as the House has no plans to contest the bill by the end of 2012.

The U.S. Senate is proposing a bill that would expand fertility coverage for military veterans, as well as their spouses and surrogates.

Currently, the Department of Veterans Affairs does not pay for in vitro fertilization (IVF), a process where fertilization of an egg occurs outside of the body. But for many veterans who are returning from Iraq and Afghanistan with critical injuries, IVF might be the only means by which they are able to start a family.

Sen. Patty Murray (D-WA), chairman of the Senate Veteran’s Affairs Committee, introduced the Women Veterans and Other Health Care Improvement Act of 2012 on June 19, which looks to make the process easier and more cost-effective for those who have served our country.

One Spouse’s Story

Tracy Keil, spouse of disabled army veteran Matthew Keil, testified before the Senate Veterans’ Affairs Committee on June 27. She elaborated on their struggles with conceiving children and the lack of support from Tricare and the VA with pursuing IVF.

Staff Sgt. Matthew Keil was shot in the neck on Feb. 24, 2007 while on patrol in Ramadi, Iraq, just six weeks after he and Tracy were married. The injury paralyzed Matthew from the neck down.

“When I first saw him three days after he was injured, I was in shock,” testified Tracy. “(The doctors) explained to me that he had a Christopher Reeve-type injury. He was on a ventilator for the rest of his life, and he would never move his arms or legs.”

Tracy Keil and her husband Matthew received no help from Tricare nor the VA for the IVF Procedure. She testified before the Senate Veterans’ Affairs Committee on June 27.

Matthew got off of the ventilator and immediately began physical therapy at Craig Hospital in Denver. Matthew and Tracy decided that his injury was not going to prevent them from achieving their dream of starting a family. The doctors at Craig Hospital suggested that IVF was probably the best route for Tracy to achieve pregnancy.

When Matthew and Tracy moved to a fully accessible home in 2008 they began to seek assistance for IVF. Tricare deferred them to the VA since since Matthew’s infertility was a direct result of his combat injury. The VA paid for the sperm withdrawal, costing about $1,000, and covered the cost of storage. But the VA provided no assistance for Tracy.

“It’s very difficult to put into words the emotions that I felt, when I found out there was no help available from the VA or from Tricare,” said Tracy. “I felt very defeated, sad, disappointed and in some ways, helpless.”

In January 2010, Tracy began fertility treatments in non-VA facilities. She was charged $250 to $650 for every fertility treatment visit. Tricare didn’t cover any of the costs because she did not have any fertility problems herself. The situation was a result of her husband’s injuries.

Matthew and Tracy became pregnant on their first try with IVF. Their twins, Matthew and Faith, were born on Nov. 9, 2010.

Other veterans, such as Andrew Robinson who told his story to the Huffington Post, are experiencing the same obstacles like Matthew and Tracy. If the bill passes, many families wounded by war will be able to achieve their dream of having children, taking another step in the healing process.

Images courtesy Nina Matthews Photography and Senator Patty Murray

Part One: 4 Clues to Cracking the Military Ball Dress Code

The military ball is the annual event that every service member looks forward to. As a night full of honor, food, drinks, laughs and dancing, it is hard to see why any military member and their guest would want to miss out. However, for first-time attendees, the thought of attending such an event can seem a bit overwhelming. To help you prepare for the event, here is a list of things to expect to see at any military ball:

Cocktail hour is a great time to mingle.

The Cocktail Hour

The evening generally begins with a cocktail hour that precedes the main event. It is a great time to mingle, meet new people and chat it up with friends and your service member’s military buddies. Having a few drinks is definitely acceptable — just remember that the night is long and to pace yourself. My personal advice is to limit the drinks you consume during the cocktail hour. In my experience, it can make for a long, rough night ahead if you don’t.

The receiving line is a chance to have a brief introduction to the host.

The Receiving Line

Once the cocktail hour has ended, a receiving line will form so that you may be seated for dinner. Women are always expected to be in front of men, even female service members. It is a formality that seems archaic that is really only still followed out of tradition. The announcer will head the receiving line, and you are not expected to shake his or her hand. You simply need to introduce yourself, or allow yourself to be introduced, and provide a short greeting.

It might be nice to brush up on formal dinner etiquette for the military ball.

The Plated Dinner

If you aren’t used to place settings or which forks are for what courses, you may want to brush up on your etiquette. I have never seen anyone called out for not knowing the formal rules, but if you are like me, you may want to know what exactly is going on.  The dinner at a military ball generally consists of several courses so knowledge of formal dinner setting rules, including ways in which dishes are supposed to be passed, can be a lifesaver!

A table is set for service members who never made it home.

Honors and Presentations

The military prides itself on tradition and ceremony, so expect to see these activities scattered throughout the night. The honor guard often sets a table for POW and MIA service members and the cake is often cut with a sword. During dinner, expect to witness several presentations that will be made to honor various service members. You will also see the tributes to colors, and should ask your military member in advance what the proper protocol is for their military branch.

Dance the night away.

Dancing

After the presentations conclude, the dancing will begin. Typically dancing is kicked off with more formal dances, so learning a step or two before the ball may be fun, or at least make you feel more comfortable. While things may loosen up on the dance floor as the night progresses, don’t lose sight of where you are and keep the dance moves appropriate for the occasion.

Overall, don’t be nervous. These events are full of tradition and formality, but they are supposed to be about having a good time. Don’t be too daunted by the pomp and circumstance of it all. I have always had a great time at the military ball, and I am sure I have committed a faux pas or two. Think about it as a great excuse to get dressed up and get out of the house!

Photo courtesy of Commander, U.S. 7th Fleet, 101st CAB, Wings of Destiny, Offutt Air Force Base, Expert Infantry and U.S. Army Africa

The age-old question: What should I wear?

The military ball is an event that’s looked forward to by military members and their dates alike. It’s a night where those who have so dutifully served are allowed to indulge in some longstanding traditions, great food and drink, and a whole lot of fun.

For those who will be first-time dates to this year’s military ball, here are a few tips to keep in mind to make sure that you look appropriate and stylish:

Complement the Dress Uniforms

As a date to a military ball, you’re there to complement your date, the service member. So don’t wear a bold dress in a loud color. This is the military member’s day, not yours. Try finding a dress in black, navy or even deep red or white, all colors that will nicely complement your date’s dress uniform. Keep it simply with no loud prints, and keep it classy, with just a few rhinestones or other embellishments here or there.

When picking out your outfit, consider how you’ll look together.

Keep it Classy

When it comes to the cut or style of a dress, I’m always a strong advocate for wearing a dress that best flatters your figure. It will make you look stunning and feel most comfortable. Keep in mind that while wearing a slinky, short and backless dress may be fun and sexy for a night out at the clubs, it isn’t appropriate at a ball. Think about what your outfit says about you and remember that what you wear does reflect on your spouse. A military ball is a formal occasion and the general consensus is that women should wear a floor-length gown as a matter of formality. I advise that when you question if an outfit is appropriate, err on the side of caution. Plunging necklines, backless numbers and thigh-high slits are common trends in formal wear, but just because something is popular doesn’t make it any more appropriate.

Keeping your dress on the simple side is better than going over-the-top

Take the Time to Prep

A military ball merits well-manicured nails and well-done hair, so make sure you book your appointment in advance. You don’t need the up-do that you donned during prom, but a sophisticated hairstyle goes great with a formal dress.

Don’t Forget the Heels

Leave the flip flops at home. Even if you have a floor-length gown, you still need elegant shoes to match. Heels are always a great option. Just make sure to keep the heel classy, too, with few straps and only a mild peep toe. Also, wear them before the ball to break them in and make sure they’re comfortable enough that you will not end the night limping!

A military ball is a must-attend event. No matter how concerned you are with your outfit for the evening, always keep in mind that first and foremost, this is an event for your service member. So, instead of fiddling with your hair or worrying about the pain your heels are causing, be sure to let the service member in your life know that this is his special night and that you’re proud of him.

Photos courtesy of Laurie Avocado, U.S. Army Corps of Engineers Los Angeles District and Maneula

Facebook is a great tool for helping military families stay connected but requires sound judgment about what’s shared.

The hardest thing about being deployed is being separated from loved ones. In the last few years, social media has changed everything, allowing military families to stay in touch from halfway around the world. But with all that progress comes the need for restraint and responsibility.

Claire Shackleford’s recent post on OPSEC outlined the “Dos and Don’ts” for protecting critical information and helping to keep our troops safe at home and on the battlefield. But even information that might not be considered critical can still be harmful if not handled through the proper channels. Here’s a truly awful example.

The Worst News in the Worst Way

Staff Sgt. Christopher Brown was killed in Afghanistan on April 3 by an insurgent roadside bomb. Shortly after, his wife, Ariell Taylor-Brown, received a Facebook message from a woman in her husband’s platoon telling her to call immediately. She did and was told over the phone that her husband had been killed. Two hours later, official Army representatives arrived at her door, but by then it was too late.

This breach of information security circumvents the long-established method of professionally handling the very sensitive task of delivering news of the death of a loved one. Normally, soldiers are ordered not to release information of this nature until the next of kin can be properly notified. Soldiers who violate this rule could potentially face court-martial.

While the Army is investigating how this latest incident could have happened, senior officials claim that it is still a rare occurrence.

“There have been a few occasions where close friends of the soldier have not abided by the restrictions and have contacted family members of casualties either telephonically or through social media,” Col. Deborah Skillman, chief of the Casualty Mortuary Affairs Branch at Army Human Resources Command, told Army Times via email.

Harming Spouses

The main concern is the effect that this kind of incident could have on military spouses. Discussing the event, Ariell Taylor-Brown said, “When she first told me, I appreciated it because I wanted to know, but after it was all said and done, it was a horrible way. She didn’t even give me a chance. I could have been driving, anything. I could have harmed myself.”

The military death notification system is structured so that there are no false notices and so that loved ones can be told in a controlled, responsible way. If spouses were to start questioning the reliability of this system, it could create potential for scams such as the fake military death notifications that were circulating Facebook last year.

The Army plans to address the casualty notification policy in the new version of their Social Media Handbook.

Photo courtesy of birgerking

While many older soldiers are concerned about being forced into early retirement, some younger soldiers are concerned over what cuts might occur between now and their own retirement.

Here is a breakdown of what to expect:

The U.S. Army plans to cut 80,000 troops over the next six years. 

Troop Cuts and Separations

The Army has announced it will dismantle at least eight of its 45 Brigade Combat Teams, each containing approximately 4,000 troops. This will mean several thousand troops will be forced to separate or relocate over the course of the transition. It also means forces will be able to deploy to fewer locations simultaneously. Service members who have had disciplinary issues or problems with the physical fitness test can expect to be among the first in these troop cuts.  It is also possible that the Army will bar re-enlistment, depending on a soldier’s career field and performance history. The Army could also enact early-out authority if the troop cuts become hard to make; this can be used to discharge active duty soldiers up to one year prior to the end of enlistment. The consolation is that soldiers who are separated in this manner will still retain traditional separation benefits.

Separation Incentives

The 2012 Defense Authorization Act re-established several of the incentives designed to minimize instances of involuntary separation and ease the burden of involuntary separations. These options include:

• Special Separation Benefit: a lump-sum payment calculated through monthly pay and years of active service.
• Voluntary Separation Incentive: a monthly annuity calculated through monthly pay and years of active service.
• Early retirement: offered to soldiers with 15-20 years of active service with retirement pay adjusted accordingly. Service members who take this option will still qualify for all other retirement benefits.

These incentives will be available until Dec. 31, 2018 and are designed to encourage voluntary separation and in turn reduce the number of involuntary troop cuts.

Uncertain Future

The instability in the Middle East continues to be a major concern for senior military leaders and political officials when evaluating troop cuts and the impact it will have on overall military readiness. “That’s another reason why I asked for six years to downsize the Army — if something happens, you want to make sure the president has the option to react however he so chooses,” Army Gen. Raymond Odierno told reporters last month. The needs of the military will dictate whether these initiatives proceed as planned. Service members who are concerned about being separated should check out some of Veteran United’s other resources, including Budgeting your Military Service Separation or Out of the Military and Unemployed: Best Industries to Find Work.

This military-civilian disconnect can lead to some serious misunderstandings, so I want to set the record straight on the most common military myths I have heard regarding spouses and families.

Military spouses are a very diverse group with a variety of individual interests and values.

Military Myth 1: Military personnel are not intelligent

Statistics from military recruiting show that service members between 18-24 have more college education than their civilian counterparts. Furthermore, military personnel are highly trained and educated in their field. Service members are expected to be competent in highly specialized fields and be able to make judgement calls.

Military Myth 2: Military couples marry young

Everyone can probably think of a young military couple who rushed to the aisle when they hardly knew each other. I will also tell you that some of these relationships actually turn out well, so don’t be too quick to judge. Military spouses are not all young either. On average military personnel marry only about a year younger than their civilian counterparts.

Military Myth 3: Military spouses are women

Male spouses account for seven percent of all military spouses. About half of that seven percent is comprised of dual-military marriages.

Military Myth 4: Military spouses have no career aspirations

Many military spouses are employed and many more run businesses out of their home. A larger than average number of military spouses do chose to stay at home due because of child care concerns, home schooling or difficulty finding a job.  In the end, this is a decision families make based on their situation.

Military Myth 5: Military spouses are lazy and get married for benefits

If you want to live a life of luxury, I would not advise you to marry a service member. Even considering benefits service members will never make what their civilian counterparts earn. In my experience military spouses are the opposite of lazy; they volunteer, raise children, handle home repairs, juggle finances and get involved in the community.

Military Myth 6: Military families don’t pay taxes and get lots of benefits

All federal taxes and most state taxes still apply to military personnel. Only service members serving in a tax-free combat zone are exempt from federal taxes. Many people assume that military get free housing, free healthcare and free education as well as a free retirement plan. While there are many good benefits available they are not that simple; many benefits do not cover everything or have some cost associated.

Military Myth 7. Military spouses cheat

There are infidelities in civilian and military marriages alike. The potential for loneliness or isolation that may come with deployment can perhaps amplify the behavior, but this does not mean that all military couples are unfaithful. Many military couples are committed and have never had a problem with infidelity.

What military myth or stereotypes have you heard? What do you say to people if they mention these stereotypes? Let us know in the comments!

Photo courtesy of andertoons

Command sponsorship is a hot topic for spouses and dependents of service members hoping to accompany their loved one overseas. The most common command sponsorships are granted in European countries but are also used for many Asian countries as well as families moving to Hawaiian bases.

Command sponsorship can be complicated but its the easiest way to travel with your spouse overseas.

Applying for Command Sponsorship

Getting command sponsorship for your move has a number of benefits for spouses and dependents. From use of base facilities to reimbursement of travel expenses, you may be surprised to learn all of the things command sponsorship can do for you.

Check out the following list if you’re hoping to receive command sponsorship for your family’s move. Be aware that each branch, region and base may have special requirements that you can ask your current commander about.

1. The first step in getting command sponsorship is to really understand what command sponsorship is. In the most basic sense it allows service member’s dependents to travel with them and have the government pay for it. For instance, European command sponsorships are approved for a three-year accompanied deployment.
2. Once you understand what a Command Sponsorship is, you’re ready to start filling out some paperwork. DA Form 4187 is among the most important because it contains the actual permission from your current command. This form will have to be signed by the service member and their commander upon approval.
3. Once you have current command approval, you’ll want to start filling out DA Form 5888, which confirms the health of all traveling dependents. Ensure you start this process well in advance because it can take around three months to obtain full approval. Health screenings must take place at approved military care facilities. Results must be mailed to the Army hospital where they will be approved and then you can forward them to your destination.
4. While you wait for approval on your current tax documents, you’ll need to fill out a few other forms and have them handy. First, you’ll need your Enlisted Record brief provided by the Squadron S1 section. You’ll also need to fill out DD Form 2792.
5. One of the final steps in getting command sponsorship is gathering documents, which can include: notarized copies of marriage and birth certificates, proof of custody and the actual PCS orders for assignment.
6. Once all of your documents are collected and the approved health screenings are mailed, service members must arrive on base with their packet for approval. This approval process usually takes about three weeks.

Get a Head Start

Although numerous documents and forms are required, as long as you get a solid head start on applying, you should have no problem getting approval for command sponsorship without delay and start enjoying all of the great benefits that go with the official approval.

Photo courtesy of Official U.S. Navy Imagery

Service members moving overseas have the option to apply for a command sponsorship, which will allow dependents to travel and live with the military spouse on base in a foreign country fully funded by the government.

Although the most notable aspect of command sponsorship is getting to move, there are a number of benefits to being a command-sponsored dependent you might not be aware of. Keep in mind that most of the general information available on the web is for the Army specifically and other branches may have slightly different perks.

Travel overseas without command sponsorship is difficult and costly.

Housing Eligibility

One of the most important benefits to command sponsorship is the availability of housing on base. If you aren’t a command-sponsored dependent, you won’t be eligible for on-base housing if that’s something you’re interested in.

Travel Reimbursement

If your spouse is stationed in Germany and you and your two children are planning on joining but don’t have command sponsorship, you’ll be stuck with the travel and moving costs for every dependent, easily adding up to thousands of dollars. Command sponsored dependents travel and moving costs are fully funded.

Temporary Lodging

If you plan on living off base, command sponsorship can help set you up with a temporary lodging allowance, which provides funding for up to 10 days of lodging during the hunt for a place.

Command sponsorship helps with a lot of the details of accompanying your spouse overseas.

Employment

Without a work visa, dependents won’t be allowed to work off post. With this common limitation, command sponsorship gives dependents the ability to work on base.

Command Sponsorship Visas

Command sponsorship offers a number of benefits when it comes to visas. Without command sponsorship you would need to apply for a tourist visa and get permission from the host nation for residency, which can be a long and grueling process and especially problematic if you’re working against the clock.

Command-sponsored dependents are guaranteed SOFA status for immigrant residency and generally get their visas approved at a much faster rate than a citizen applying for a visa.

Education

If you plan on bringing children with you to a foreign base, command sponsorship has a number of educational benefits as well. Only command-sponsored dependents are eligible to attend Department of Defense schools.

If your spouse has been stationed overseas with an accompanied option and you’re considering moving without command sponsorship, double check that you won’t be in need of one of the many benefits that come with it.

The second post in this series will outline the steps to applying for command sponsorship.

Photo courtesy of expertinfantry and UNC – CFC – USFK