According to the research, “when the average, non-military American thinks about the United States’ conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan, he or she generally associates the stressors and casualties of the wars with the active-duty services members.”

Contrary to these findings, the spouses typically endure comparable amounts of stress, but their health care needs are often obscured by a primary concern for the soldier. Fortunately, reliance on self-care and spousal support can offer a viable means to cope.

Taking up a hobby, such as yoga, is just one way to recharge.

Do Something For Yourself

“Many of us worry about putting ourselves first. We worry we’re being selfish or we’re not living up to our duties as a spouse,” Deployment Diva blogger Jessica Aycock writes. “In life, there has to be a balance of give and take. Think about the last time you did something for yourself.”

Spouselink.org, a website dedicated to connecting military spouses through “supportive, informative, and inspiring” articles, cites self-care as a basic need to efficiently manage the stress. Even taking a few minutes a day to relax can be beneficial. Starting a hobby, such as yoga, taking a nap, or taking a walk can also provide an outlet to recharge, supplying the energy necessary to handle the highs and lows of the military life.

Proactive, Not Reactive

Another way to reduce stress is to learn how to be proactive rather than reactive. If the same cycle of challenges are the cause of frustration, it may be possible to mentally prepare in advance. First, take a look at expectations – are they realistic? Second, accept what cannot be changed. Especially in repetitive situations, these preventative measures can drastically reduce stress by knowing what to expect.

Finding a “Battle Buddy” can perhaps be the greatest savior of spousal sanity during a significant other’s deployment. Connecting with fellow military spouses is easier than ever, with countless online groups and blogs dedicated to supporting one another. Military.com, an online organization that even offers a “Buddy Finder” feature, praises military spouse friends for their ability to understand and relate without judgement.

“Bottom line: They just get it. There is no explaining things in detail, there is no need to have to call out for help; MilSpouses just know, they understand, they empathize, and they will listen and try to help without being asked.”

Stick With Other Military Spouses

Various readers rang in on the importance of befriending other military spouses, with reasons of reliable and unconditional support, valuable mentor insight, and even comic relief. While military life isn’t exactly funny, sometimes a good laugh can be a hearty reminder not to take everything so seriously.

Army spouse Kay Wise writes about the MilSpouses that embody each of these qualities. The “Hooah” spouse is reliable; this is the person that will be willing to help in whatever way possible at any given time. The “Seasoned” spouse is experienced and knowledgeable, always ready to give advice. Got a question? If this spouse doesn’t know the answer, he or she will know someone who does. The “Friend” spouse is perhaps the closest – one to trust and call for a shoulder to cry on.

Not only is there no better reason to take the time for some self-appreciation, there’s no one more deserving.

Photo courtesy Tomas Sobek

This year, Military Spouse Central was invited to attend the May 9 event, thanks to Circle of Moms by POPSUGAR who arranged for Military Spouse Bloggers to cover this event.

Mother and son at the Joining Forces Mother’s Day tea at the White House.

170 military members, spouses and their children were able to attend this intimate tea event. At the White House tea, the First Lady also recognized each of the finalists for Military Spouse the Year award as well as talking a little bit about Tricia Hines Ward, the overall winner of Military Spouse of the Year.

The kids seemed to both be filled with excitement and also remain completely unaware of how big an honor an invite to the
White House is.

The room was adorned with china tea cups and dainty cookies and an abundance of flowers. But what makes the event special is watching the delight on the children’s faces as they sit politely in their Sunday best and enjoy being at the White House!

Michelle spoke about the military family and the debt that we owe all the moms in military spouses, whether they are the service member or a military spouse.

“You help our country soar,” she said. “When somebody needs you — your family, community or your country — you answer the call every time”.

Prince Harry started helping the kids with their crafts, many of them unaware at first who he was. Whispers between the kids spread quickly though.

After Michelle Obama spoke about these remarkable military families, the kids made crafts for their mothers. They selected flowers for bouquets, made a snack, and crafted some jewelry.

And a prince showed up to lend a hand as well.

Prince Harry, who is visiting the states, also visited the event. The moms and daughters seemed equally thrilled at the chance to meet Prince Harry.

Prince Harry was excited to attend this special event.

The First Lady remarked that she would like to see this event, and the entire Joining Forces initiative be a “forever proposition” that will continue with succeeding presidents.

“The language was too hard to learn, I’d be way too far away from family, and there was no way a 5′ 7″ blonde female could possibly blend in. I would stand out like, well, an American in Japan,” she writes in SpouseBUZZ.

Fortunately, Sweeney overcame the culture shock to make the best of the overseas tour. Here’s how you can too.

Forget the familiar

Don’t expect to find a Walmart, your favorite stateside restaurant or a conventional church just down the road. While there’s a slight chance the area might have what you’re searching for, there’s an even better chance you’ll find something else. This can be uncomfortable at first, but will really allow you to step out of your comfort zone and try new things.

Bold is best

Food writer Eleonora Baldwin speaks of how to abandon these preconceived notions about cuisine and culture when traveling. “Try local specialties, unheard of ingredients and traditional regional preparations. Keep it simple and seasonal. Eat like the natives. Hang out in places with very little, or no tourists at all,” Baldwin said. Natives thrive at these local markets and eateries, and can often be valuable experts of the area in ways of food, travel and hobbies.

This fish market in Korea is a great place to interact with locals and experience authentic cuisine.

See the sights

Arguably the best way to experience foreign lands is to see them, according to one blogger for Life Lessons of a Military Wife. Overcome fears with language barriers or geography unfamiliarities by utilizing resources such as travel bloggers, tourist bureaus, on-post travel services, and other military spouses. Travel bloggers and other military spouses are usually best for inspiration and support, while tourist bureaus and on-post travel services are available to help with the planning.

Master Sgt. Jeff Allen, a strategic plans technician with the Pacific Air Forces, can attest to the value of befriending a local. Allen learned to appreciate culture from Tim Awaya, a local paddler, while stationed at Joint Base Pearl Harbor Hickam, Hawaii. According to the 15th Wing, “paddling” is a popular Hawaiian pastime involving an outrigger canoe and up to six passengers, and Allen had hopes that a knack for paddling would make him as much of a local as anyone. Awaya was eager to mentor Allen, recalling his struggles when he first started. “Paddling is a great sport and it shouldn’t be limited to where you’re from or how long you’ve done it,” Awaya said. “The Hawaiian spirit of aloha means that we accept anyone who shows interest in the culture.”

It’s this invested interest in local culture that can really help to make the most of your international move. “I’ve been on the island for nearly two years now, but nothing I’ve done so far has come close to making me feel the way paddling does,” Allen said.

Photo courtesy Ray_from_LA

One of the most resilient characteristics of military families is their ability to find creative ways to help get through the many days and nights of deployment. One popular idea is a deployment wall.

A deployment wall is a collage of various elements relating to a deployment that can include anything that a family wants or finds useful. Elements that allow children to engage and learn about where their parent is can help kids focus on the less scary aspects of deployment.

To make a deployment wall, we suggest using colorful elements that are eye-catching but also coordinate with the room it is in.  Organize interactive elements low enough so children can reach them, but sturdy enough to withstand little hands. There is no need to purchase expensive pieces. Most elements like clocks and maps can be purchased at a dollar store. Simply gather scrapbooking paper supplies, pull up to your computer and let the creative juices flow. Cork boards, clipboards and poster board act as great bases to create displays on, too.

Possible Pieces for a Deployment Wall

•  Clock Display: Mounting two clocks, one set to the time of the deployed service member and one set to a family’s local time, gives kids an idea of what their parent may be doing. Connecting children’s minds with simple routines like sleeping, eating and working can help keep the presence of a parent in their mind. Because of their limited understanding of time, younger children may benefit more from a display of pictures that help them connect with their parents’ daily routines. Pictures of a parent’s sleeping quarters, mess hall, or outdoor environment might help little ones visualize what their parent may be experiencing better than just telling them.
•  Weather Forecast: Much like comparing times, displaying a weather forecast is just another way for a family to visualize what their loved one is feeling and seeing. All ages can visualize a sunny day or rainy afternoon. This can also give your kids an activity to look forward to updating once or more a week.
•  Mailbox/Envelope: One of the toughest things for families during deployment is limited communications with their loved one. However, by encouraging children to write to their parent as often as they want, communication can be preserved, albeit at a slower pace. Collect letters they leave on the wall and mail as often as possible. You can deposit letters mailed to the children from their parent in the box/envelope, too.
• Countdown: Many families also find deployment countdowns helpful. In the early days of deployment, “300 days until…” may seam daunting, but keeping track of progress can help in moments when you need any encouragement you can get. Some families opt to do a paper chain.  Count by days, weeks or even months. Just strike a balance between what is helpful but not too much work.

There is no right or wrong way to create a deployment wall. Check out these other great ideas for deployment walls: A Diamond in the Stuff and Semper Fi Momma -Fairy Door During Deployment.

No one knows your family like you do, so keep individual personalities in mind. What encourages one child, may not be so meaningful to another. So try to strike a balance. Also keep in mind that elements that require maintenance may hinder more than help. As with many things during deployment, the key is to keep it simple but meaningful.

Do you have any ideas for a deployment wall?

Read more about military children and their unique challenges (and talents) in this infographic.

These kids face countless challenges, and it’s hard to not be amazed at their ability to adapt and soldier on, through thick and thin. Their resiliency and strength makes them pretty super in our eyes, and we’re guessing you feel the same way too.

Tell Us About Your Superhero

We think military kids are pretty super and I bet you do too!

Are your military kids pretty super? Do they have a super power? In 100-300 words tell us about your military child’s superpower.

For example – “My daughter is super Flexible. Although she has had to deal with several curve balls this year, including her dad unexpectedly missing her birthday, she keeps a smiling face and has learned to come up with new plans and traditions to ‘make the best of it.’ I don’t know how I would get through days when her daddy is gone without her coming to the rescue.”

The Rules

• We will pick three winning stories and publish them on our blog as proof of your child’s “super-iority!”
• We will also make a one-of-a-kind print of your child in true superhero form! We will customize this character to your child’s likeness and their own individual “superpower” and send you a framed copy.
• Submit your entry by Sunday, April 12.
• Winning submissions will be chosen (and notified) by April 15 and published during the week of April 26.

Please submit your child’s super story by emailing your story to editor@vu.com!

I am one of millions of American “military brats.” Here are five benefits I have received from my military family experiences.

Even though they don’t enlist, military kids serve their country in many ways. Be sure to check out other featured articles on our blog that highlight these special little heroes.

Experience and Appreciation of Diversity

Military children on average make more moves that their civilian counterparts. Therefore, they encounter many cultures and the experience helps them to appreciate the diversity in our world. Not many non-military children can say that they have lived in England, Germany, Korea or Japan.

When it comes to military children, I’m a bit of an exception. We lived on one military base — Fort Hood — for 12 years, but that didn’t prevent me from experiencing diverse culture. At my high school and in my neighborhood on base I had classmates and friends of many ethnicities and backgrounds. In addition, my mother is German, so I already came from a multicultural home. I learned much about different cultures then and I continue to carry a curiosity for and fascination by other cultures today.

Proficiency in Language Learning

Children are language sponges when they are young. When they grow up overseas they have opportunities to pick up a second language easily and fluently. The trick will be keeping it up when the family changes station. Even if the military child forgets the second tongue, having learned it will help their brain be more receptive to picking up new ones when they are an adult.

I grew up speaking English and German and still speak both today. Also, I’ve taken an interest in French, Spanish and Latin. I don’t imagine I’ll be speaking Latin anytime soon.

Adaptability to New Environments and Situations

As stated above, military children move on average more than their non-military peers. That means, in addition to the benefit of engaging diverse cultures and ideas, they constantly have to make new friends and acclimate to new places. At first, this can be stressful and at times saddening, but over time military children pick up a very important skill — adaptability — which will aid them in school, the work place and life in general.

Today, my adaptability has served me well — I’ve survived six moves so far as an adult, and I enjoy friendships from around the world.

Desire to Serve Others

Not everyone joins the military for the primary reason of service, but over time each military member comes to live a life of service — to give to and sacrifice for others and a cause greater than themselves. Military children recognize the importance of sacrificial service.

“Being in a military family I can appreciate the veterans and their families more,” Andy, a military child aged 11, told Time. “I relate to what they sacrificed because my dad went to war too.”

My adult life has been all about service. As a teenager I wanted to the join the military, following the footsteps of my father. So, after college I joined the Air Force as an officer and even did one tour in Afghanistan. I left the Air Force after three years to enter the seminary. Although, I learned that ministerial service was not for me I learned that I wanted to serve through education. Currently, I am in school working my way towards a Ph.D.

Connection to Other Military Children

Not only do military children make friends from all over the country and the world, there is a special bond that exists between military children. It’s the equivalent of learning that someone is from your hometown plus the shared experiences of moves, parent deployments and generic AAFES brand products.

Many times I have met other adult military brats and we hit it off when we learn of each other’s background, waxing nostalgic over wearing our parents’ camo and eating their MREs when they have returned home from “the field.”

Photo courtesy of U.S. Army

Some women have a tendency to be over the top when it comes to the military ball. While any woman would love to have a presence, spouses should remember that the military ball is about their service member and that there is a fine line between classy and trashy. So how does a spouse go about finding that perfect gown for the ball? By taking a few lessons from prior ball gown traditions.

To remain classy, while still looking fantastic, sticking to classic style is always a great idea.

Classy and Distinguishing

Originally, ball gowns were a way to distinguish class. Gowns worn by the women of the middle ages were predominately about fabric. Silk showed a woman of higher class, and silhouettes were rather modest. However, at the turn of the 15th century, ball gowns became fuller and much more colorful, and the high-waisted dress appeared. A full hoop skirt may be a bit much for today’s military ball, but a dress with a nice, bold color is always in style and a good takeaway from dresses of this era.

While the wide skirts, full sleeves and high collars of the early 15th century aren’t exactly in style for today’s military ball, there is a lesson to be learned from the modesty they offer. Wearing a strapless or sleeveless dress is completely appropriate; however, wearing a dress that is too revealing, such as a low plunging neckline or hemline above the knee, isn’t and should be avoided.

What’s Your Best Option?

So what is, in fact, the best type of dress for the military ball? A dress that is a combination of several gown traditions. Look for a gown that embodies the fine fabrics of the 14th-15th century and bold, but not distasteful, colors and full skirts of the 16th-18th century. Depending on your neckline, consider a strapless dress of the 19th century. These dresses were made for dancing and are often easy to wear but also look great. You might also want to check out tips to prepare for a military ball so you know what to expect.

Dresses of the 20th century also offer much in the style department. The 1920s flapper style allowed for the tea length dress to rise in popularity. The 1930s placed emphasis on a more natural looking waistline so women could avoid corsets and other shapers. The 1950s were all about crisp lines and femininity. The 1970s allowed for gowns that emphasized chic silhouettes and sheer fabrics.

Classic Style Always Wins

To remain classy, while still looking fantastic, sticking to the classic style of the 50’s is always a great idea. Vintage has remained very stylish, and sticking to this era provides a great ball gown for nearly every figure. Whether or not you prefer straps or sleeveless, tea length or floor length, 1950’s dresses incorporate the fine fabrics, clean lines, and classic colors that every woman needs to look stylish and appropriate during the military ball.

Regardless of which gown tradition you prefer, remember that your goal should be to complement your military member. Stay away from bold prints, low cuts or high hemlines. You want to be a spouse your military member is proud to have on their arm, and you want to be considered a lady other spouses look to as a military ball fashionista.

Photo courtesy InnocentEyez

The most common ingredients in homemade cleaning products besides water are white vinegar, hydrogen peroxide and borax.

You may be surprised to know that you can make homemade cleaning products for several projects that work just as well as their expensive brand name counterparts. Give these homemade remedies a try this spring.

Windows

Many think that homemade window cleaners won’t get off dirt or will streak. A mixture of one cup alcohol, one cup water and one tablespoon of white vinegar should do the trick and leave minimal streaking.

Extra Dirty Clothes

Whether you’re cleaning sheets, curtains, blankets or clothes, you can clean the stains with a mixture of one part dish soap and two parts hydrogen peroxide. Pour that directly on a stain to loosen it before the wash. Additionally, try soaking clothes in cold water with a cup of lemon juice instead of bleach.

A cheap homemade detergent consists of a shaved bar of soap, one cup of borax and one cup of washing soda.

Soap Scum

Tough soap scum is one of the most difficult jobs for a spring cleaner. A mixture of baking soda and peroxide and a little elbow grease can scrub away some seriously stubborn scum, no harsh chemicals necessary. This mixture also does wonders in the kitchen to clean pots and pans.

Floors

For hard flooring, try a mixture of ¼ cup baking soda, 5-6 drops dish soap, ½ cup white vinegar and fill the rest of your container with warm water. If you have carpets or rugs with stains, make a paste with white vinegar and baking soda and work it into the stain. Once it’s dry you can vacuum the stain right out of the carpet. If you have a steam cleaner, mix white vinegar and water and clean according to manufacturing instructions to clean and deodorize.

Not exactly homemade, but resourceful nonetheless; for extra stubborn toilet stains try pouring a bottle of coke in and letting sit for an hour before flushing.

Sanitizer

After you’re done scrubbing, try soaking your sponges or mops in a solution of white vinegar overnight.

Stainless Steel

If you have a lot of stainless steel appliances don’t think you have to invest in a specialty cleaner. Undiluted white vinegar in a new spray bottle and a soft cloth is all you need to get rid of stubborn fingerprints.

Drain Cleaner

Mixing baking soda and vinegar is for more than science projects. A dirty, smelly or clogged drain can be cured with the same concoction followed by a steady stream of warm water.

Furniture Polish

For those of us with a lot of wood furniture or paneling, furniture polish can do a world of help to put the finishing touch on your spring cleaning work. 3/4 cup olive oil, 1/4 cup lemon juice and 1/4 cup white vinegar cuts through dust and dirt while leaving a clean shine.

Images courtesy of homespot hq & JoeLodge