“The language was too hard to learn, I’d be way too far away from family, and there was no way a 5′ 7″ blonde female could possibly blend in. I would stand out like, well, an American in Japan,” she writes in SpouseBUZZ.

Fortunately, Sweeney overcame the culture shock to make the best of the overseas tour. Here’s how you can too.

Forget the familiar

Don’t expect to find a Walmart, your favorite stateside restaurant or a conventional church just down the road. While there’s a slight chance the area might have what you’re searching for, there’s an even better chance you’ll find something else. This can be uncomfortable at first, but will really allow you to step out of your comfort zone and try new things.

Bold is best

Food writer Eleonora Baldwin speaks of how to abandon these preconceived notions about cuisine and culture when traveling. “Try local specialties, unheard of ingredients and traditional regional preparations. Keep it simple and seasonal. Eat like the natives. Hang out in places with very little, or no tourists at all,” Baldwin said. Natives thrive at these local markets and eateries, and can often be valuable experts of the area in ways of food, travel and hobbies.

This fish market in Korea is a great place to interact with locals and experience authentic cuisine.

See the sights

Arguably the best way to experience foreign lands is to see them, according to one blogger for Life Lessons of a Military Wife. Overcome fears with language barriers or geography unfamiliarities by utilizing resources such as travel bloggers, tourist bureaus, on-post travel services, and other military spouses. Travel bloggers and other military spouses are usually best for inspiration and support, while tourist bureaus and on-post travel services are available to help with the planning.

Master Sgt. Jeff Allen, a strategic plans technician with the Pacific Air Forces, can attest to the value of befriending a local. Allen learned to appreciate culture from Tim Awaya, a local paddler, while stationed at Joint Base Pearl Harbor Hickam, Hawaii. According to the 15th Wing, “paddling” is a popular Hawaiian pastime involving an outrigger canoe and up to six passengers, and Allen had hopes that a knack for paddling would make him as much of a local as anyone. Awaya was eager to mentor Allen, recalling his struggles when he first started. “Paddling is a great sport and it shouldn’t be limited to where you’re from or how long you’ve done it,” Awaya said. “The Hawaiian spirit of aloha means that we accept anyone who shows interest in the culture.”

It’s this invested interest in local culture that can really help to make the most of your international move. “I’ve been on the island for nearly two years now, but nothing I’ve done so far has come close to making me feel the way paddling does,” Allen said.

Photo courtesy Ray_from_LA

A new bill proposed in Texas is hoping to relax the rules a bit for the unique situations military families experience. Will it work?

A proposed bill in Texas will help military families spend more time together before and after deployment.

Difficulties

Due to current attendance policies, some military children may not be able to spend much time with their service member parent before and after deployment, as well as during leaves. School districts face strict regulation when it comes to student absences. Attendance important to make sure students stay on top of their studies, and districts receive funding based on it.

Although these rules are in place for good reasons, military families don’t have a choice when it comes to deployment. School is obviously important, but so is spending time with a parent before they will be gone for months on end or as they make the transition back to civilian life.

Proposed Solutions

The proposal, currently limited to Texas, would extend the number of allowed excused absences to a maximum of 10 for any student who’s parent is in a uniformed service about to deploy, on a leave or returning from a deployment of six months or longer. Without having to fight bureaucracy, military families will have more time together.

Military families often don’t have a choice when it comes to deployment.

Deputy Superintendent of Learning in the Ft. Worth district, Michael Sorum, agrees “Allowing our military families some extra time to adjust to an imminent departure will help students and families be more successful. We know that military parents understand the importance of doing well in school and we know that they will use these extra privileges judiciously.” As long as children are able to catch up on their missed work, this time will be invaluable to easing the transitions associated with deployments.

MIC3

The proposed bill in Texas fits with a growing national support to help military families be successful in spite of the added difficulties. The Military Interstate Children’s Compact Commission, also known as MIC3, is a group that gets state school boards to agree to rules that address challenges that may hold back military children.

When a state joins the compact, their state agrees to a set of uniform standards for enrollment, activity eligibility, class placement and graduation rules that may hold back military children due to the complicated process of transferring school several times. As of now, 43 states have joined so be sure to take advantage of this resource if you are having any problems transferring schools.

Whether you’re changing school districts or facing a deployment at your current school, be sure to check out the resources available and always make teachers and administration aware right away to avoid any problems down the road.

Images courtesy of USDAgov & The U.S. Army

If you’re a military spouse, you might have to move by yourself.

Moving houses can be intimidating in the first place, but having to move by yourself can be downright frightening. If you’re a military spouse, that might be the reality at some point in your life when your spouse is deployed.

“I am an active duty military spouse with two children and six ‘on my own’ moves under my belt,” said Roxanne Reed, Executive Director of the Military Spouse Foundation and Marine Corps spouse. “I’ll be honest — moving stressed me out to no end in the beginning, but now I see it as a time to clean out, reorganize and start fresh.”

Although moving by yourself is an ominous prospect, there are several tips and precautions you can take that will make the process much smoother and easier.

Make a list

Before you even begin to pack up your current home, create a running list of important things to remember. This is especially helpful for details that can easily be lost in the shuffle, according to a Yahoo! article. A list that can easily fit in a purse or bag might be a good idea so you can carry it around with you.

Research your new home

This is a task that will come in handier than you might think. According to the Yahoo article, it is useful to print out maps of important places in your new city so you know exactly where to go for things like groceries when you get there. This will save you the headache of scrambling to find stores you need when you’re dealing with unpacking.

De-clutter

Instead of trying to shove everything you own into boxes to move to your new house, separate your belongings into things to keep, donate and throw away. This provides a great opportunity to de-clutter your life and get rid of excess weight before your move. “Start early going through closets, children’s rooms, linen closets and the garage to isolate things you do not need or have outgrown,” Reed said. It might make more work for you prior to the move, but you’ll be glad you did when you get to your new home with only the things you want and nothing you don’t.

Budget for moving expenses

Part of moving by yourself is making sure you have enough money to do everything that comes with a move. Moving truck rental costs can be high, so don’t let them take you by surprise. Think not only per-day charge, but also gas, mileage, etc, according to Trulia. “Budget in an extra day in case you need to keep the truck overnight, and factor in toll expenses as well,” according to the article. Also take into account moving tools such as ropes and a dolly.

Packing schedule

Now that it’s time to start the actual moving process, don’t let it stress you out beyond what’s inevitable. If you set a packing schedule and stick to it, according to Reed, you will have a much smoother move. This includes leaving a day or two devoted to packing up each room, depending on room size. Packing order is also important, as you should go room by room to manage stress.

Relax on moving day

Because you prepared well, you should be able to take it easy on the actual day you move. Since you are handling the move by yourself, you’ll be able to oversee everything the movers do instead of trying to micro-manage the process.

Unpack wisely

According to Reed, unpacking well is just as important as packing well. “It’s critical that the packers place your boxes in the correct rooms after they have set up your furniture,” she said. “There is nothing worse than facing four to six rooms of shear mess. Then I have the movers stack the boxes only two high up against the wall (not blocking any closets or doors).” This will make it easier for you to unpack in an organized fashion.

She also advises to “take your time and start with your room first, then the children’s, then the kitchen, and lastly the family room. Leave all the boxes for the garage in the garage to unpack when you’ve had some time off.”

The 80/20 rule

Finally, Reed uses something she calls the “80/20 rule.” If 80 percent of a room is unpacked, leave the remaining 20 percent for when you have a smaller block of time later on. This will keep you from trying to set up each room perfectly and save your energy.

Photo courtesy of Velo Steve

For many military members, home isn’t a picket fenced location; it’s a mindset that you need to be able to pack up at a moment’s notice.

Members of the military community often struggle to get a true sense of home while they are constantly moving.

One way to improve your attitude is to create crafts and art that represent the different places you have lived so you’ll always remember where you’ve been and be able to take them with you.

Check out these great crafts and ideas to help you channel your memories of past homes into great visual and mental reminders.

Key Art

Spray painting past keys can turn them into great display art so you always remember where you’ve been.

A unique way to always have something around from your past homes is to make something out of the keys you once used. You don’t have to be an especially crafty person to create something that will look great on a wall or coffee table.

Love Stitched posted this easy project. With a little spray paint, burlap and and magic marker you can create a stunningly simple shadow box that looks great anywhere.

Family Photo Collage

The most simple approach to remembering your past homes is to create a great photo collage combining photos of your family in front of your former home. These “front door family photos” look great together, and serve as a rememberance where you’ve been and how old the kids were when you lived there. Post them all on a big bulletin board for a collage look or in a frame on the wall  for a more professional appearance.

Craft Houses

These model homes are great reminders as well as conversation starters when you have guests over.

If you’re looking for something more customizable, check out little model homes that you can then paint and  label with your former location. In the example we found on Life Lessons of a Military Wife, fairly standard model homes were customized and the different locations were painted on the roofs in white paint. Placing these in your living room not only reminds your family of former lives in different places, but can also be a great conversation point during a party.

Christmas Ornaments

A really simple way to remember your past home is create Christmas ornaments. Whether you buy an ornament that signifies something from that location or decide to create something yourself, having an ornament from the different places you lived is a great way to personalize your tree for a military family.

Map Art 

Take the ‘Love Map’ idea and make it your own to locate your past homes in really sleek wall art.

One of the most unique ideas we ran across on the Minimoz blog was a love map. Essentially, you find an old map and cut out special locations — where you fell in love, where you met and where your kids were born, for instance — in the shape of a heart. Then paste them on a piece of paper to be framed.

The end result looks like professional wall art from the store but is actually personalized to your story.

No matter how you choose to remember your former homes, physical or mental reminders can help you feel grounded no matter where you end up. These projects can help you learn how to make ‘home’ a mindset that is always easy to pack up and take with you as a positive outlook.

Photos courtesy Life Lessons of a Military Wife, Minimoz & Love Stitched

Make it Feel Like Home

Varying big and small frames in a layout will turn your family photos into a work of art.

• Family photos are a great way to instantly make your new house a home. Use frames that can be hung or placed on a table for maximum flexibility.
• A vintage map is an instant wall decoration that can display the travels of your military career.
• Wall decals are the easiest ways to give any kids room a hint of whimsy without having to paint. The elegant quotes and sophisticated designs work well in a family room or kitchen. Plus when you move, they peel off without damaging the paint.
• Lighting is usually lacking in military housing. Lamps or chandeliers are a great investment to make your house cozy and unique move after move.
• Curtains can make a huge statement in a beige room. Before you shell out big bucks for the perfect drapes, look at a Marshall’s, Ross or TJ Maxx in your area. They usually have a variety of curtains for much less. Also, look for a curtain rod that is adjustable to fit any future home.
• Consider buying a mirror instead of a large painting or poster. Mirrors are less expensive and will always go with the decor.
• Place candles and air fresheners around the house to hide the dust or pet odor of a former resident. They will instantly make you feel more comfortable in your new home

Space Saving Solutions

• Many military homes are low on space and storage. Invest in quality furniture that will be serve a number of purposes and last throughout multiple moves. A sofa bed, an ottoman with storage and end tables with drawers will be great in every type of home.
• Choose a general color scheme for your entire home. This goes for wood colors and accent decorations. At some point everything will need to mix and match with every other piece in your home.
• Books can be expensive and add a lot to your weight limit for moving. Get a library card at your new station and read your heart out without adding clutter.
• When considering a china cabinet or armoire, look for a corner model. There will always be a corner to place it in, but there may not always be a nice big wall. Plus, they have a surprising amount of storage because they’re so deep.
• Every few months go through all belongings and closets to get rid of anything you have used in a year or more. It will make moving easier and you’ll think twice before buying anything new.

Avoid knick-knacks and neutral colors for housing on military bases.

What to Avoid

• Don’t buy a specific piece of furniture to fit into a nook. It probably won’t have a place to go in the next place.
• Don’t buy light colored furniture, curtains or rugs because the walls will be light in every military home. Use your decor to make the home unique and vibrant.
• Don’t buy custom drapes or valances because no two window are the same. Look for drapery treatments that can adjust for any future home.
• Don’t get caught up in buying furniture specific to the area. Beach decor will not look right in Tennessee. On the other hand, if you loved a piece from a country you lived in, it can make your new home a perfect reflection of your families personal experience in the military.

Channel your creativity to make a new use of old things. This goes for the stuff you already have as well as things you may find on the clearance aisles of hardware stores. If you stick with a color scheme throughout your home and stay flexible on layout, you’ll be settled in your new home in no time.

Photos courtesy of Ame Otoko and Pamela Heywood.

Keep your eyes off the clock and avoid short time syndrome.

“Honey, we’ve got orders” are four of the most powerful words in the military community. Once you hear them you know you’ve got to pack up, move bases and essentially start over in a new place and make new friends.

A common tip in the military community is to try and anticipate these changes. But what happens when an expectation of moving in the future keeps you from enjoying life where you are now?

Think of it as “short time syndrome.” You’ve just moved to a new base but you’re so busy anticipating your next move that you don’t bother joining any groups, making any friends or even exploring the surrounding area. For many this anti-social plan is just easier than going through the trouble of making new friends when you know you’ll probably be moving again.

We’ll take a look at why this syndrome can be damaging and provide some steps to prevent it.

Why Short Time Syndrome is Bad

You may wonder what’s so bad about deciding you aren’t going to get out and meet people at a new base. The main problem is missing out on an important support system. PCSing and deployments often go hand in hand and having other people in the military community to help or just hear you out can completely change your mindset for the better. So meeting new people is good, but how do you override your brain telling you to not get attached?

Don’t Overextend

At first this tip may seem counterintuitive. But in the grand scheme of PCSing and staying happy not overextending yourself is very important. Taking on too many activities and getting burned out can lead to poor contributions, shallow friendships and a lack of interest in getting involved later on.

Don’t stress out or overextend yourself; stay relaxed and enjoy your new home.

Invest in Yourself

Investing in yourself is a great way to make sure you aren’t just focusing on the next move. Some spouses decide to take classes and work toward a degree; others pick up a hobby. Either way, you’re working to develop skills and better yourself. Classes or hobbies can fill your free time and fulfill your passions.

Community Projects

Taking on a community project can ensure you’re getting involved where you currently live. Projects and the organizations attached to them are a great way to meet new people and help out the community at the same time. Whether this is something like building a park or organizing an event with the PTA, don’t be afraid to help out.

Take a Minute

At the end of the day, the best way to avoid short time syndrome is to take some time for reflection. There are going to be good and bad things about every place you go and you’ll be a lot happier focusing on the good things.

Apply the concept of reflection to a lot of aspects of living on a new base. Take a minute to say hello and meet someone new. Take a minute to listen and help out someone if you can. Take a minute to explore your new surroundings. Take a minute to be thankful for the good things in your life. You’ll find that taking time to think about positive things can help your outlook.

Short time syndrome often means avoiding life. If we avoided relationships or friendships that might end one day, we would never meet anyone. Keep this idea in mind the next time you PCS and remember to get out there and meet new people and get involved.

Photos courtesy of Dave Stokes and nanny snowflake

For years military spouses were left struggling to find new jobs, shuffling stacks of paperwork and tiptoeing around miles of red tape just to get settled in a new state. The Military Spouse Residency Relief Act, signed in 2009, makes these moves a little bit easier in that it allows military families to move without having to change their state residence!

Military spouses should all be aware of this legislation and how the Military Spouse Residency Relief Act works in your favor to relieve some stress when you’re faced with your next PCS.

Military Spouse Residency Relief Act helps remove some of the burden of moving across state lines.

Drivers License

One of the most common annoyances associated with a PCS is having to renew your license and registration in a new state. Unless you’re a fan of taking the driver’s test three, four or more times, the constant trips to the DMV are most likely an annoyance. And that doesn’t count the fees you incur getting a new license each time.

Because the Military Spouse Residency Relief Act allows you to remain a resident of your last state, you can keep your previous license and registration free of penalty as long as you only remain there under military orders.

Taxes

Taxes are another area where military families and spouses were left in a mess of paperwork that generally leads to unnecessarily paying too much on your taxes. The Military Spouse Residency Relief Act allows spouses to maintain their residency in their home state if desired so they will only need to pay the taxes for their state of residency.

This is especially beneficial if you are from one of the seven states without income tax. Regardless of your home state or current state, you’ll want to check out the state-specific rules, as the Military Spouse Residency Relief Act applies differently across certain states. You may want to consult a military legal specialist on base before deciding to switch residency.

Nursing Licensure

Nursing is a popular occupation for military spouses because of the significant need for trained medical professionals. In the past nurses faced with a PCS were forced to switch their state licensure within 30 days of moving, which in some cases can involve extra licensure fees not to mention the hassle of getting it.

Thankfully, the Military Spouse Residency Relief Act allows military spouses moving due to government orders to continue practicing while in a different state than their licensure because they never technically switch their state of residency.

This benefit is only available to nurses with an active compact license moving to another state that participates in the compact licensure program. A full list of participating states and more information can be found at this link.

Photo courtesy of pheaber

Command sponsorship is a hot topic for spouses and dependents of service members hoping to accompany their loved one overseas. The most common command sponsorships are granted in European countries but are also used for many Asian countries as well as families moving to Hawaiian bases.

Command sponsorship can be complicated but its the easiest way to travel with your spouse overseas.

Applying for Command Sponsorship

Getting command sponsorship for your move has a number of benefits for spouses and dependents. From use of base facilities to reimbursement of travel expenses, you may be surprised to learn all of the things command sponsorship can do for you.

Check out the following list if you’re hoping to receive command sponsorship for your family’s move. Be aware that each branch, region and base may have special requirements that you can ask your current commander about.

1. The first step in getting command sponsorship is to really understand what command sponsorship is. In the most basic sense it allows service member’s dependents to travel with them and have the government pay for it. For instance, European command sponsorships are approved for a three-year accompanied deployment.
2. Once you understand what a Command Sponsorship is, you’re ready to start filling out some paperwork. DA Form 4187 is among the most important because it contains the actual permission from your current command. This form will have to be signed by the service member and their commander upon approval.
3. Once you have current command approval, you’ll want to start filling out DA Form 5888, which confirms the health of all traveling dependents. Ensure you start this process well in advance because it can take around three months to obtain full approval. Health screenings must take place at approved military care facilities. Results must be mailed to the Army hospital where they will be approved and then you can forward them to your destination.
4. While you wait for approval on your current tax documents, you’ll need to fill out a few other forms and have them handy. First, you’ll need your Enlisted Record brief provided by the Squadron S1 section. You’ll also need to fill out DD Form 2792.
5. One of the final steps in getting command sponsorship is gathering documents, which can include: notarized copies of marriage and birth certificates, proof of custody and the actual PCS orders for assignment.
6. Once all of your documents are collected and the approved health screenings are mailed, service members must arrive on base with their packet for approval. This approval process usually takes about three weeks.

Get a Head Start

Although numerous documents and forms are required, as long as you get a solid head start on applying, you should have no problem getting approval for command sponsorship without delay and start enjoying all of the great benefits that go with the official approval.

Photo courtesy of Official U.S. Navy Imagery

Here are a few things to know about no-fee passports and the process of getting one:

What it is

No-fee passports identify the owner is abroad for official travel. Aside from any service fees, no-fee passports are free of charge for the dependents of those needing to travel on government business. Spouses, children, parents and siblings of fallen member with an overseas funeral may also apply.

How to Apply

If a passport is deemed necessary for spouses, the installation’s human resource office will provide a DD Form 1056, or you can download one online. The application for the passport should be submitted to the local military passport and visa sector.

Once approved, the form becomes proof of your authorization and can be presented to the Department of State with the official travel orders. After the paperwork goes through, the Department can issue the passport. Typically, passports take 8-12 weeks and are sent to the branch of service, rather than the individual.

What You Need

The official forms aren’t the only required items to submit for a passport. You will also need to present:

• Passport Photos: Two identical pictures, measuring 2×2 inches on white or off-white background. Your head must be clear of all gear, including glasses. Your military installation may have a DA photo lab to get pictures done, but you can also go to store photo departments.
• Birth Certificate: You will need the original as well as a copy. You may not use birth registrations, notifications or hospital birth certificates, even with notarization. Previous passports may be used in lieu of a certificate, unless for a child under the age of 16.
• Original Marriage/Divorce Certificate
• Parent IDs for children:Children under 14 must have both parents’ IDs presented as well as a copies made. Those aged 14-15 only need one parent ID.
  • If a parent is divorced, single or the only one listed on the birth certificate for a child 13 and under, the parent must present: 1) An original notarized SPOA/DS-3053 for either single biological parents/divorced biological parents that have joint custody OR 2) The original finalized court document that states that a biological single parent and/or biological divorced parent has sole custody/primary custody.

What Else is Required

When families PCS, the DoD Directive requires members and dependents to have a Status of Forces Agreement stamp. A SOFA stamp gives legal rights that exempt the holder from the host country’s immigration laws regarding alien registration.

Where to Apply

Depending on your current location, you can use Department of State search tool to find where you can apply.

What Else to Know

No-fee passports are only used for official business. If you want to travel for leisure, you must obtain a regular-fee tourist passport. You are able to have both at the same time.

Apply as soon as you can. Peg Crippen describes her extra lengthy experience  and advises spouses to “hope for the best, but plan for the worst.”

Photo thanks to clapstarr via Flickr Creative Commons

Even though there are numerous benefits to having a stay at home parent, many people struggle to find a solid identity without the guidance and rewards of a career. As Marine Wife Unplugged wrote about it, it can be especially difficult as a military spouse because you are often separated from your family and support network and can easily feel overwhelmed and isolated.

If you are a stay-at-home parent, check out these ideas to help you build a strong identity.

If you are a stay-at-home parent, check out these ideas to help you build a strong identity.

Volunteering

Many stay at home parents say that they feel as if they aren’t challenged and don’t get the rewards that many receive from projects at work. Although being a parent can be very rewarding, it’s easy to feel like your hard work goes unnoticed.

Volunteering can provide an excellent outlet to fill your down time as well as give you the sense that you’re helping out your community. For an added impact, try volunteering for charities or organizations that help military causes like The Veterans United Foundation, Operation Homefront and The Red Cross.

Clubs

It may not sound like much but joining a club can help you meet people with similar interests as well as foster some of your favorite activities. Join a neighborhood book club, city council or even the school board.

Not only can getting involved in your community help you find your identity, leadership and organization building are great skills to include on a resume if you plan on returning to the work force.

Online Classes

Those with a passion for learning and a goal to receive a degree should consider taking online or evening classes. Online and evening classes are incredibly flexible and you can spread your class load over several years to work toward a degree that can help you find a job later down the road.

Hobbies

Although raising children and taking care of the house is a very necessary job, it isn’t always the most rewarding or creatively stimulating. Giving yourself a creative outlet will help you feel passionate and stimulated.

If a craft or some type of art is peaking your interest, consider turning your hobby into a form of income.  With a little careful planning and drive you can make some great extra money selling on sites like Etsy.com and eBay not to mention customers around your area.

Change Your Mindset

One of the biggest mistakes a stay at home parent can make is thinking what they do isn’t as important as a job with income. Think of how lost your family would be without everything you do to make things run smoothly. Consider how much services like childcare, housekeeping or bookkeeping cost. Calculating the monetary value of the work you do in the home can help bring your self-worth into proper perspective.

Overall, the role of a stay at home parent is incredibly important and should not be taken lightly, but these supplementary activities can help fill the gaps in building a strong identity.

Photo courtesy Emery Co Photo