Military Spouse Network
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The Internet has become an incredibly important tool for the military community to document and share their experiences. Personal blogs and social media have given everyone an opportunity to share their story. National Guard wife Ali Gibbs uses her blog, Better Together, as a springboard for her thoughts and feelings.
And that insight can amount to a lot of unique feelings that come with being married to the military. How do milspouses cope with love, loss and leaving?
Fascinated with fashion from the 1940s and 1950s? Want a flirty photo to give your service member during an upcoming deployment? Then fun and feminine pin-up style might just be for you. Pin-up photography has been a morale-boosting tradition in the military community for many years, and has seen a recent resurgence in popularity online through Pinterest and Polyvore.
Want a flirty photo to give your service member during an upcoming deployment? Try on some of these saucy outfits for an extra kick. See More
Military families and spouses often have to move across state lines with little notice, and often end up living overseas. The service member in the family can be called to move bases at any given time.
The result is that moving frequently can take its toll on the family, and although its members might grow accustomed to the process, adjusting to life in a new city is always gradual at first.
So when a military family not only has to move, but move overseas, the adjusting period is amplified by multiple factors, such as unfamiliarity, language and culture. How, then, do military families adjust to living overseas?
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Saying “I love you” isn’t very difficult, but it can prove to be an issue when your spouse is deployed and communication isn’t easy. If you can’t talk on the phone every day, you might find it hard to communicate your love on a regular basis.
So the next best thing is to get creative with the methods through which you say “I love you.” Here are several creative things you can do from the home front that serve that purpose.
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Deployment is a large adjustment for a couple. The military service member might usually have had certain responsibilities at home that the spouse must now undertake. Because deployment is a change, some spouses might decide to keep the household as similar as possible to normal, but others might choose to do things differently.
Whether or not spouses have children, deployment is a time when habits and behaviors tend to change temporarily, both out of necessity and out of choice.
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Friendship can deepen your relationship with your spouse.
Marriage, if it is going to last, is about more than just being in love. True love means that you are not just in love, but you are also friends.
Military couples have many added obstacles in marriage. Heck, sometimes it feels like the military is the third person, and three is a crowd! Strong marriages have strong foundations in friendship. Don’t worry, you do not have to like your spouse all the time (I have a husband who sometimes drives me crazy too), but a relationship should have a healthy friendship and this friendship needs to be tended to and nurtured over the years. This friendship will help you grow together over the years as a couple.
Rejoice in the fact that your service member is home.
Homecoming is a hard thing to prep for as a military spouse. It’s hard to keep your mind from wandering. The imagination runs wild, and after being on your own so long, it feel nice to hope and fantasize about how all of your worries and your loneliness will melt away and magically your family will move forward without missing a beat.
Unfortunately, that’s seldom the case.
It’s key to remember that a successful reintegration and homecoming is one that has few expectations, because disappointment can really sour everything. One area that expectations are hard to manage is in the bedroom.
Christine Lay’s husband, Andrew, just returned home from deployment. She is pictured here with her son, Jamey.
When Christine Lay’s husband came home, she described the feeling as “amazing,” if she could even put her excitement into words.
You might know Christine as the mother whose son, Jamey, received a service dog from Veterans United Foundation. But there’s a lot more to this military spouse. Her husband, Andrew Lay, returned home in July to El Paso, Texas, from deployment after being away for nine months.
Although she said their relationship grew stronger because of this challenge, it wasn’t always easy maintaining a sense of normalcy at home.
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Veteran Military Wife authors her blog, Life Lessons of a Military Wife.
You might have read Life Lessons of a Military Wife blog before, but you probably aren’t too familiar with the blogger and military spouse behind the military and life advice. The blog’s author, who chooses to be known as Veteran Military Wife and currently lives in Germany, was once in the military herself, so she approaches her blogging with expertise and understanding of the service.
She shares some of her experiences regarding life, deployment and marriage below.
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Always make sure your spouse has enough time to talk before starting into a conversation about problems at home.
I have been to many pre-deployment readiness meetings. After half a dozen of these meetings, there is one piece of advice that is practically burned into my forehead: “You should not bother your spouse with trouble and problems at home.”
Our spouses need to be focused on the mission at hand, not worried about finances, broken down cars or fights between teenagers and mom. Keeping things squared away is the best method of helping our spouse during deployment.
I agree, in theory, but some advice can be taken too far. It can even be abused and hurt your relationship. See More
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