And while every moment of separation is challenging, the emotional cycle of deployment can be divided into five unique stages: pre-deployment, deployment, sustainment, redeployment, and post-deployment.

Here’s a quick breakdown of each phase of the emotional cycle:

Pre-deployment

The first stage, characterized by periods of denial and anticipated loss, begins after military members receive the warning order for deployment.

During the pre-deployment stage, military spouses may begin to feel psychologically alone, as their spouses prepare to depart. Typically, military members begin to train and bond with their unit, inadvertently creating an emotional and physical distance between spouses.

Unfortunately, the frustration of the impending deployment can cause arguments between couples. Often, it can be worked through. But for some couples, especially those experiencing an extended separation for the first time, arguments escalate easily.

Deployment

This stage usually extends through the first month following the initial deployment.

Throughout this phase, emotions constantly fluctuate. While some military spouses may be relieved that they no longer have to appear brave and strong, others feel overwhelmed and disoriented. There may even be anger directed towards military members for tasks left undone prior to departing.

Additionally, it isn’t uncommon for military spouses to feel numb, sad and alone without their loved one present. Spouses may find that they have problems sleeping and have a case of anxiety.

Sustainment

The third stage of the emotional cycle is when things begin to improve, slightly.

The sustainment phase is a period of establishing new sources of support, such as the Family Readiness Group (FRG), and building self-confidence.

As new challenges appear, spouses realize that they can cope with crises and make important decisions on their own. Spouses begin to feel like they’re in control of the situation, finally.

Redeployment

Typically, the redeployment phase is considered to be the month prior to a military member’s homecoming. Characteristically, this is a time of anticipation and excitement.

But while spouses are thrilled that their military member is returning home, there may be some apprehension, too. Spouses tend to worry that they will have to discard their newfound independence, or that returning military members will not agree with changes they’ve made.

Post-deployment

The last phase in the emotional cycle is usually the most complicated. Once military members return home, they are greeted by their excited children and loving spouses. This can be considered the honeymoon period, as military members reunite physically with their spouse, but not emotionally.

Often, it can take time for military members to become acclimated to home life again. It can take some time, but eventually military members will want to reassert their role as a part of the family, which can cause tension.

While some military members will want to regain the role they had before deployment, things have changed. Spouses are now more autonomous and are not quick to give up their independence. They may feel irritable when their spouse is constantly around, and need their own space, too.

During this time open communication is needed to reintegrate into the family structure. It’s important that everyone is patient and makes an effort to work things out.

Photo thanks to dvids via Flickr Creative Commons

The frustrations will come, and while it is important to have an open communication with your spouse, it may not always be appropriate, or healthy to vent your troubles to him/her. Instead of letting all that emotion boil up inside, or come rushing out all at once, try healthy ways to vent frustration.
Here are some techniques to try:

Take it to Technology

Mashable.com lists over 24 sites like JustAnger.com and Asshat that are dedicated to venting anger. Sometimes something as simple as putting your anger out to the world can help.

If you just need to say how you feel, and talk to people that might understand, there is a Military Spouse Central page on Facebook in which you are free to post and receive comments from fellow spouses.

Write and Rip

A key to freeing yourself from frustration is discovering what it is exactly that you’re upset with and the specific emotions surrounding it. Write out how you feel into a journal entry. If that isn’t enough, get some of the energy out by ripping the page into pieces.

Make Something Out of It

Some of the best art has been the product of intense emotion. Use yours to paint, write or work out some aggression by chiseling or carving something great.

One trick is to write all your thoughts on a canvas and paint over them. That way, you can say whatever you want and keep it your little secret.

Work, Work, Work it Out

Chances are, with your anger comes energy or stress. Use it. Go for a long run, punch a punching bag or go to a boxing class. Maybe a few sets with the free weights will be enough to calm you down.

If you’re looking for more of a grounding effect, try to breathe deep with a yoga session or take a long walk in nature. Both can help you focus on other things besides your

Take a Drive

Go for a drive, put on some music and sing/scream your heart out. You can even say your frustrations out loud.

Take the Anger to the Virtual World

While there is still a debate on whether or not they corrupt our children, violent video games may help take the edge off of your frustration. Rather than punch a wall or another person, use gaming devices as a healthier outlet. Whether you spend your time reaching 100 kills in Halo or saving Princess Peach from Koopa, you’ll have had plenty of time to calm down.

Photo thanks to breahn via Flickr Creative Commons