This month’s winners are Army spouses Rebekah Corcoran and Holly Bell. Each will receive a $50 coupon to the Veterans United gear store. Here are their outstanding responses.

December’s winning reader stories touch on the difficulties of spending holidays apart and how military spouses can cope.

Never Truly Alone

Rebekah Corcoran, Army spouse

I grew up in foster care. As such, I knew what it was like to spend holidays alone. When I married my husband, now Staff Sgt. William (K.C.) Corcoran, we made our own family. As a military spouse I knew there would be times when we would spend the holidays apart.

K.C. and the rest of the 62D EOD Company deployed to Afghanistan in July of 2010 for a year-long deployment. I didn’t think much about Christmas that July when we said our goodbyes. As the warm weather grew colder and the beautiful colors of fall danced around Colorado it became more and more apparent that no matter how much I might wish to skip the holiday season the holiday season was simply not going to skip by me.

As December approached, I wondered what the Christmas season would bring. Both of my parents are deceased and I had no home to go back to. With our husbands gone, my fellow local military spouse friends took the opportunity to visit family back in their home states. I made the decision, even if I was going to spend it alone, to make the best out of Christmas.

So, I dragged our eight-foot Christmas tree out of storage, and I struggled to put each limb on, fluffing out the green and making it stand perfectly tall. With the help of a ladder, blasting Christmas music and a blazing fire in the fireplace I decorated our house. I hung the ornaments that we had bought together over the years and smiled at the memories we had made. I made myself a cup of homemade hot chocolate and read the emails and cards my husband had mailed me from thousands of miles away in a war zone. And on Black Friday, I stood in line for hours at Best Buy to send him a Christmas care package full of the goodies he didn’t have access to out there.

On Christmas morning, I opened the package he had sent to me, after weeks of using every ounce of self-control I possessed not to open it. His voice on the other end of the phone was the best Christmas present I could have gotten. As we talked I sat under the Christmas tree and described it to him and he told me about the day he had defusing bombs in Afghanistan. Bombs didn’t care what day of the year it was. We made plans for next Christmas and planned our future together.

This Christmas, we have a beautiful 5-month-old baby boy, born from our love and passion for each other. I will never again be alone on Christmas, as my son will always be there, but then again, even with KC deployed, I wasn’t truly alone. Our hearts and spirits spent Christmas together, they soared across the miles that separated us and danced together under that Christmas tree for we shared in love and hope. Hope that he would come home safe from war, and he did.

Creating New Traditions

Holly Bell, Army spouse

You see posts online and hear comments in the line at the commissary. “It just doesn’t seem like Christmas time. I decorated the tree, hung the lights, bought the presents and still nothing. My soldier is deployed, so it just isn’t the same.”

When your Soldier is deployed, nothing feels the same. So, I decided that I am not going to celebrate the holidays like I would traditionally do if my husband was home. I am on a mission to create new traditions for the holidays that happen during deployment instead of making myself miserable and depressed because I can’t recreate something when the key piece is missing.

Thanksgiving is a no-cooking, do-whatever-you-want sort of day. My daughter and I were going to go out to eat but decided that we didn’t want to. So we heated up some leftovers watched some movies and did nothing. That in itself is more than enough for me to be thankful for. It was a welcome break. When my hubby returns he will be making a smoked turkey and we will whip up all the trimmings and spend all day watching football since neither of us have watched this year because it is something we do together and it’s not the same when he’s gone.

Christmas is the holiday that I go all out for — every decoration in my home is taken down and replaced with something Christmas. It is my very favorite holiday. This year will be the first year that I will not have my husband with me. So I am going to create a new tradition. I sent my husband a mini-tree with 25 numbered presents. One for each day leading up to Christmas but, before he can open it, he has to guess what’s inside. If he guesses more right than wrong, he wins, and if not, then I do. I can’t wait to see who wins. When he comes home we will have a Christmas as well.

I think the key to making it through the holiday season is welcoming your own deployment traditions. Not forcing yourself to pretend that the things you share with your soldier are just as fun without him.

Photo courtesy of koka_sexton

We’ve created miniature dream homes during times when we were less than thrilled with our own dwelling. By the time everyone in the family contributes their own little touch (like chicken coops, American flags and back porches), our houses always have details that truly reflect who we are.

By adding a few simple steps, a gingerbread house can come alive with the addition of illuminated candy windows.

Any baking novice can tackle a gingerbread house. While the kits from the store are convenient, making your own may be easier than you think. As long as you follow a step-by-step process, you can make a gingerbread house that is truly your own.

Check out this gingerbread house step-by-step guide, complete with recipes, instructions with pictures and candy window how-to.

Make scenes around your gingerbread house. Santa’s legs (made from shaped gum drops and Tootsie Rolls for boots) are all you can see popping out of the candy chimney. Cut pretzels can be iced together to create a pile of firewood, too.

Here are some additional tips to help you avoid common problems before you start baking:

Tip 1 – Use recipes for “construction grade” gingerbread only. Some refer to it as oven plywood. Recipes for this type of gingerbread work best for creating structures that won’t crumble. Regular gingerbread recipes are too soft. Steer clear of any recipes that call for leavening agents like baking soda and baking powder. Here is a link to a good construction grade Gingerbread recipe.

Tip 2 – Use templates for the cutting out your house. You can create your own templates or download them. Check out this link to a few really cute gingerbread house ideas and templates.

Tip 3 – Harness the power of freezer and wax paper. Freezer paper has a waxy side that works perfectly on the cardboard base for your house (and it’s white). You can also draw your template on the paper side of freezer paper, so the waxy side touches the dough as you’re cutting out your shapes. No stick, no problem.

By rolling your dough onto wax paper, you can cut out shapes and transfer to a cookie sheet without stretching the dough out of shape. Bake the cookie on the wax paper and peel off when the cookie shape has cooled.

Tip 4- Be Patient. This is probably the most important tip. As you’re planning your gingerbread house project, include all the time necessary to let the house sit and become dry and hard. I generally plan my gingerbread house projects out in a two-day span or three to four days for larger or more intricate houses.

Create pieces that represent your family. Notice the flag made from pretzels, icing, licorice and graham crackers. The porch is also created with graham crackers and pretzels.

• After baking, let your cookie pieces set for at least four to five hours before constructing, if not overnight. Leave them out in the air so they dry and harden; basically the opposite of cookies you eat.
• Once you begin constructing, let the base structure sit for at least 30 minutes to an hour before you add the roof. Use can goods to help hold up the sides while you ice them together.
• Let your constructed house sit a few hours if not overnight before you add icing and candy to decorate.

Tip 5 – Icing and graham crackers cover a multitude of errors. Use these two ingredients to help cover areas that may have broken or to create elements like shutters, doors, porches and chimneys.

If there’s a military spouse in your life you’d like to spoil (or if you’d like to spoil yourself), here’s a few gift suggestions hand-picked by other military spouses. They’re guaranteed to put a smile on your loved one’s face. For other suggestions, check out our other gift guides.

Uniform Bag or Tote: $30-40

“My absolute favorite thing I have ever bought (yes, I bought it for myself) is an ODU bag…you can get them from a variety of places, as several military spouses make them and you can get them in whichever branch ODU your AD member is in! I use mine as a book bag for my college classes.” – Laura Vanderwerf, Military Spouse Magazine’s 2011 Coast Guard Spouse of the Year

Spa or Personal Care Products: $25

“My favorite military-themed product is called Freedom Feet Foot Kit. It’s an all-natural pedicure set through Lemongrass Spa. They offer it year-round, but it’s wonderful for Christmas time, especially because it is for the female soldiers who are deployed around the world. I love it because: one, It’s all natural, two, it smells amazing, and three, it focuses specifically on our female soldiers.” – Stacy Swearengen, founder of Military Spouse Portable Career Planning.

Necklace with Military Pride: $65-100

 “Our favorite gift to give a military spouse is a necklace from Buttons Up Jewelry. These delicate, lovely pieces provide military spouses an opportunity to share the pride we feel for our service member while looking fabulous at the same time.” – Molly Blake, military spouse

Engraved or Personalized Bracelets: $15-135

“These engraved military bracelets can be personalized for as little as $15 to honor the fallen, declare love and support for the deployed, or simply to recognize service. They are great gifts for military parents, especially that mother-in-law who is impossible to shop for. The best part? If you get them from hero bracelets you can designate a military charity and for each purchase a portion of proceeds is put to good use in our own military community.” – Lori Falkner Volkman, author of Witty Little Secret

My favorite part about these stockings are the pockets!

Stockings with a Military Flair: $15

“I love these camouflage stockings I found on Etsy. They really reflect my husband so I got one for him to hang by the chimney with care. These would be neat to send in a care package to someone who is deployed or even to have at home to recognize someone who is deployed that year. My favorite part is the little pocket (perfect for notes or an extra special surprise).” – Adrienne May, Military Spouse Central

For Your Walls: $10-40

“A great Christmas gift I got a couple years ago was a shadow box. I know this is nothing new to a seasoned military family, but like most guys, my first reaction was, ‘What the heck is this?’ Then my wife demonstrated how cool my American flag and military coins looked neatly positioned inside. I have been a big fan of shadow boxes ever since and currently have one hanging over my bar that proudly displays a flag and letters from my wife’s latest deployment.” – Chris Pape, founder of Macho Spouse

Build-a-Bear makes uniforms for all branches of the military.

A Gift for the Military Kids: $37

“Don’t forget military kids on your Christmas list. While military kids like regular toys just like everyone else, it is always fun to add in something that honors their military life. I am partial to these military outfits from Build-a-Bear Workshop. You can get a bear there and a military outfit as well as any other outfits or accessories that fit your child.” Caitlin K, Military Family Advocate

Save Money and DIY: $5-20

“These DIY paracord bracelets are very popular recently and they are very easy to make (without spending hours of your time). They make great gifts for military and supporters – you can also customize them with favorite colors.” – Sgt. Jon C., U.S. Army

For Someone Going Through Deployment: $10-20

“Deployment journals are a great way to get all your thoughts and feelings down in one place and they have them for military spouses and for military kids.” Christina D., Military Spouse Community Manager

You could even have a small tree dedicated to your branch of service.

Trim the Tree: $10

“My favorite military-themed Christmas gift I ever gotten has been military-themed ornaments. Another favorite is this Army boot ornament.  Added bonus: each one is less than $10, so it doesn’t have to break the bank.”  - Danni G., First-year Army Spouse

Keep the Memories: $25-40

“A good scrapbook is invaluable when you want to save memories for someone who can’t be there, whether that is your spouse or friends and family that are half way across the country. I absolutely love the fun military-themed scrapbooks.” – Cate Necaise, Family Readiness Group (FRG) Leader

Giving Spirit: Varies

Remember that instead of a gift, you can make a donation to your favorite military charity in someone’s name. What better way to carry the Christmas spirit than by giving to those who really need it? Consider donating to a cause like the Wounded Warrior Project, Homes for our Troops, Blue Star Families or any other charity that speaks to you personally.

According to tradition, this mischievous elf comes out every year before Christmas and checks in on little children on behalf of Santa Claus. While this elf visits your home, he comes alive at night and tends to get into a little bit of trouble.Rumor has it that military elves visit military families, too, and like doing some of the same things that our deployed service members do. And with a bit of camouflage and a dog tag, Sargent Peppermint was born.

These ideas for Elf on a Shelf can also double as some great activities to keep Mom or Dad involved if your family is going through a deployment over the holidays.

1. Elf on the Shelf Joins the Army

It wasn’t hard to make Sgt. Peppermint’s elf-sized ACUs from some camouflage duct tape and his dog tags from a bit of aluminum foil.

You can customize your elf outfit for your branch of service.

2. Elf Goes to “Basic Elf Training”

Create mini obstacles that your elf can do: hurdling ornaments, climbing the tree, chin-ups, and more.

3. Give “Elf Mail” to Your Kids from Mom or Dad

This is a great idea for during deployment. Have Mom or Dad who is deployed send a special letter to your child, then have your elf “deliver” it.

Getting mail is a delight in itself but getting it via “elf mail” somehow makes it seem more like magic.

 4. Elf on the Shelf Visits the Troops

Elf on a Shelf will ship orders to APO addresses so you can order an elf (an elf double), ship it to a loved one overseas and have them take pictures or Skype with the kids to show that the elf visited them one day.

5. Studying Up on Geography

Kids awake to find that the elf is studying up on the country where their parent is deployed/stationed.

You can make all sorts of fact sheets, maps or even a sheet showing the time differences that elf could be studying.

 6. Elf Learns to Salute the American Flag

Pose elf saluting while facing an American flag.

7. Elf on the Shelf Does PT

Physical training is important for elves too. Elves need to be physically ready for the big day, so this elf is doing push ups.

An added bonus would be a drill sergeant action figure to stand over the elf.

8. Elf Makes New Friends

Elf on the Shelf is always on the move. He knows how hard it is to make new friends at every new home. Have your elf hold a sign that says “Make New Friends but Keep The Old, One is Silver and the Other’s Gold.”

9. Operation Elf on the Shelf

Have the elf take part in a military operation with whatever toys you have. We just used walkie-talkies and a few action figures.

Time to break out the remote controlled Humvee, plastic tanks and GI Joe.

10. Zip lining with Soldiers

Sgt. Peppermint choose to zip line from our tree, but your elf could set up a zip line anywhere in the house.

Be sure to tell your kids, this is one of those “do not try this at home” stunts.

11. Elf on the Shelf Cozies Up to the Marine Corps

You should make this your own, pose your elf with your troop’s patches or your military branch’s gear. We thought Sgt. Peppermint looked pretty cute in this Marine Corps cover.

Elf loves to get into other people’s things and even try them on for size.

12. Elf and Combat Boots

Your elf can take a ride in combat boots, or have him try to lace them up and tie them.

This is especially fun if you kids are learning to tie shoes.

13. Shine Your Dress Shoes

Elf loves to be helpful. He can shine your dress shoes/boots (pretending to shine your combat boots works for a substitute).

Sgt. Peppermint has pretty good shoe shining technique.

13. Elf Reads a Story

You often see Elf on a Shelf reading a book, but you can add a military twist by having him read a book about the military or go the extra mile and find a military-Christmas book like The Soldier’s Night Before Christmas.

14. Defending the Presents from an Enemy Toy Soldier Invasion

Sgt. Peppermint can play lookout and defend the presents under the tree.

All it takes is some play binoculars and some toy soldiers and you’ll have a delightful scene.

15. Elf Leads the March

Elf lines up all your toy friends for a march through the snow. Bonus: Make up a Christmas-themed marching cadence.

Hey, Ho, Santa Claus! (Hey, Ho, Santa Claus!)

 16. Elf on the Shelf Hangs with the Nutcracker

We have some military nutcrackers at our house, so we had Sgt. Peppermint spend a night out with the guys.

It looks like they had a good time spreading Christmas cheer.

17. Elf on the Shelf Joins the Navy and Sets Sail

We outfitted elf with a sailor cap and set sail in the kitchen sink.

Elf would make a very good sailor.

 18. Elf on the Shelf Builds a Plane

Our elf can likes to paint, and decided to paint a model Air Force plane. It also doubles as a surprise for the kids when they find out they get to finish the project and keep the plane.

Elf can even fly on the plane when your kids finish the model, just string it from the ceiling and have elf take flight.

On the 1st day of Christmas, the military gave to me:
PCS orders for across the country!

On the 2nd day of Christmas, the military gave to me:
Two Skype calls,
and PCS orders for across the country, second time in three years!

On the 3rd day of Christmas, the military gave to me:
Three children fighting,
Two Skype calls, long awaited,
And PCS orders for across the country!

On the 4th day of Christmas, the military gave to me:
Four sets of ACUs,
Three children fighting, throbbing headache,
Two Skype calls,
And PCS orders for across the country!

On the 5th day of Christmas, the military gave to me:
Five M. R. E.s!
Four ACUs, in need of cleaning,
Three children fighting,
Two Skype calls,
And PCS orders for across the country!

On the 6th day of Christmas, the military gave to me:
Six days R&R,
Five M. R. E.s, why’d he bring these home?
Four ACUs,
Three children fighting,
Two Skype calls,
And PCS orders for across the country!

On the 7th day of Christmas, the military gave to me:
Seven FRG meetings,
Six days R&R, twice delayed.
Five M. R. E.s!
Four ACUs,
Three children fighting,
Two Skype calls,
And PCS orders for across the country!

On the 8th day of Christmas, the military gave to me:
Eight handwritten letters,
Seven FRG meetings, with melancholy spouses!
Six days R&R,
Five M. R. Es!
Four ACUs,
Three children fighting,
Two Skype calls,
And PCS orders for across the country!

On the 9th day of Christmas, the military gave to me:
Nine military forms,
Eight handwritten letters, delayed in customs,
Seven FRG meetings,
Six days R&R,
Five M. R. Es!
Four ACUs,
Three children fighting,
Two Skype calls,
And PCS orders for across the country!

On the 10th day of Christmas, the military gave to me:
Ten job interviews,
Nine military forms, just for the pediatrician!?
Eight letters on the way,
Seven FRG meetings,
Six days R&R,
Five M. R. Es!
Four ACUs,
Three children fighting,
Two Skype calls,
And PCS orders for across the country!

On the 11th day of Christmas, the military gave to me:
Eleven months of waiting,
Ten job interviews, no job yet in sight,
Nine military forms,
Eight letters on the way,
Seven FRG meetings,
Six days R&R,
Five M. R. Es!
Four ACUs,
Three children fighting,
Two Skype calls,
And PCS orders across the country!

On the 12th day of Christmas, the military gave to me:
Twelve homecoming signs a-waving!
Eleven months of waiting, for this very day,
Ten job interviews,
Nine military forms,
Eight letters on the way,
Seven FRG meetings,
Six days R&R,
Five M. R. Es!
Four ACUs,
Three children fighting,
Two Skype calls,
And PCS orders for across the country!

We also found this one, the 12 Submarine (Wife) Days of Christmas, check it out too, and of course, Have a Merry Christmas!

Thanks to all of the spouses who contributed so many great ideas, but special thanks to those we borrowed inspiration from: Breanna Ajitsingh, M’kayla Wriston, Elizabeth Glassman, Tanya Reeve Reudgen, Chrissie Skahan, Lindsey Nicole Russell, Natalie Barnes, Paula Linder, Lacey Garcia-Medina, Gayle Salley, Brenda Shartle-Miles, Gina Canaday & Kayla Dugay!

Photo thanks to Mukumbura via Flickr Creative Commons

But there are ways to keep your deployed spouse involved in your holiday traditions and make the season family-oriented. Here’s a look at five options:

Care Packages

Sometimes the best way to keep your deployed spouse involved in your holiday tradition is to send the season’s cheer in a care package. Whether you’re sending decorations, a favorite holiday film, music or some cookies, care packages are a great holiday tradition for military families. Not only will they enjoy it overseas, but you and your family can have a lot of fun getting into the spirit putting the package together.

Skype & Videos

Although your family may be thousands of miles apart during deployment, technology can help bridge the gap. Skyping while you are putting up the Christmas tree can make it seem like everyone is involved.

Unfortunately, Internet access may be limited to only certain parts of the day, but don’t let that stop you from recording a video of your family sending off the care package or even opening presents. The priceless look on your children’s faces on Christmas morning is the best gift you can give a deployed spouse.

Decorating

Not only can you send pictures and videos of yourself decorating the tree, but you can also include your spouse in the decorating process with your family.

Decorate a picture frame or make an ornament as a holiday craft and include pictures of the entire family. Many children love to make holiday-related art. You can have them draw a picture of the family around the tree and send it in a care package or even scan it into an email for fast delivery.

Letters from Santa 

One of the best ways to keep your spouse involved is to have them write letters from Santa to your children asking what they would like, responding to their Christmas list or even as a check-up to see if they’ve been naughty or nice.

This is a great way to hear about the children from their perspective as well as be involved in some holiday fun even though they can’t be there to pick out gifts.

Christmas In July

Another great way for deployed service members to enjoy the holiday season with their family is to celebrate when they return. You can still decorate the house and everything in December, but also do something small once they have returned.

You can set up the tree together, make hot chocolate and exchange a few gifts so everyone can enjoy their favorite traditions as a family.

These are just a few ways to make sure everyone enjoys the holiday season even during a deployment, so don’t let the business of the military lifestyle detract from this special season.

Photo thanks to jarek69 & evelyn via Flickr Creative Commons

Try some of these easy activities to welcome your spouse home for the holidays:

Deck the halls

Hanging decorations around the house while holiday music plays is simple and relatively low energy. Asking your military spouse to climb the roof and staple lights may be too demanding.

Photos

Make some hot cocoa, snuggle and look at photos from last year’s holiday season.

Movies

Holiday movies put people in the spirit. Pick your spouse’s favorite movie and watch it together for a simple night in.

Ice skating

If your spouse feels comfortable on skates, take him or her to a rink for an evening that promises some falls and some laughs.

Wrap gifts

Hide the things you bought for your spouse and invite them to help you wrap presents for other recipients.

Bake goods

It’s not common for a service member to return home and turn down home-baked goods. Ask your spouse to chop nuts or blend batter.

Light gazing

Military families with children are sure to hear the young ones request a drive through a light spectacle. Take the whole family to a nearby park or neighborhood that went all out.

Start a new tradition

This can be whatever you’d like it to be. The possibilities are endless. It can be silly or routine as long as it embraces the holiday spirit and brings a smile to your military spouse’s face.

Photo thanks to Aubry Aragon via Flickr Creative Commons

In addition to restrictions and guidelines, USPS recommends “send by” dates to get packages to military members on time. Most dates are before December 10, so see if these ideas can get your mind cranking quickly:

• Tree: You can send a mini Christmas tree with decorations and battery operated lights (with plenty of batteries). This way your service member and his/her unit can decorate it together.
• Classic Movies/Cartoons: What’s Christmas without Rudolph, the Grinch and twenty-four hours of A Christmas Story? Pick out some holiday favorites and send them over.
• Stuffed Stockings: Send a stocking with goodies including essentials like Chapstick, toothpaste, etc. but also send some candy canes and toys. In an AllMilitary.com forum, it was mentioned that deployed members enjoyed playing with toy soldiers, parachute men and squirt guns. Most dollar stores carry these items.
• Christmas Carols: You can buy or make your own play-list set of Christmas carols. If you really want to personalize it, record your family singing tunes together for your service member.
• Church Sermon: Many people make it a tradition to attend church for the special Christmas sermon. With the Internet it’s easy to get archives of past sermons. Snag one from the previous year and send your member a copy.
• Gingerbread House Kit: Many grocery stores will stock winter-themed gingerbread kits during the holidays. It may be a fun activity for your service member and unit to play around with.
• Decorations: Get kids involved and send homemade paper snowflakes, snowmen or Santa himself
• And don’t forget New Year’s: You may be an ocean or two apart, but you can help your member welcome in the New Year by sending some confetti, blowers, hats and plastic champagne glasses to toast at midnight. You can also share your New Year’s resolutions and ways your deployed service member can be a part of them upon their return.

Photo thanks to anna gutermuth via Flickr Creative Commons