And while every moment of separation is challenging, the emotional cycle of deployment can be divided into five unique stages: pre-deployment, deployment, sustainment, redeployment, and post-deployment.

Here’s a quick breakdown of each phase of the emotional cycle:

Pre-deployment

The first stage, characterized by periods of denial and anticipated loss, begins after military members receive the warning order for deployment.

During the pre-deployment stage, military spouses may begin to feel psychologically alone, as their spouses prepare to depart. Typically, military members begin to train and bond with their unit, inadvertently creating an emotional and physical distance between spouses.

Unfortunately, the frustration of the impending deployment can cause arguments between couples. Often, it can be worked through. But for some couples, especially those experiencing an extended separation for the first time, arguments escalate easily.

Deployment

This stage usually extends through the first month following the initial deployment.

Throughout this phase, emotions constantly fluctuate. While some military spouses may be relieved that they no longer have to appear brave and strong, others feel overwhelmed and disoriented. There may even be anger directed towards military members for tasks left undone prior to departing.

Additionally, it isn’t uncommon for military spouses to feel numb, sad and alone without their loved one present. Spouses may find that they have problems sleeping and have a case of anxiety.

Sustainment

The third stage of the emotional cycle is when things begin to improve, slightly.

The sustainment phase is a period of establishing new sources of support, such as the Family Readiness Group (FRG), and building self-confidence.

As new challenges appear, spouses realize that they can cope with crises and make important decisions on their own. Spouses begin to feel like they’re in control of the situation, finally.

Redeployment

Typically, the redeployment phase is considered to be the month prior to a military member’s homecoming. Characteristically, this is a time of anticipation and excitement.

But while spouses are thrilled that their military member is returning home, there may be some apprehension, too. Spouses tend to worry that they will have to discard their newfound independence, or that returning military members will not agree with changes they’ve made.

Post-deployment

The last phase in the emotional cycle is usually the most complicated. Once military members return home, they are greeted by their excited children and loving spouses. This can be considered the honeymoon period, as military members reunite physically with their spouse, but not emotionally.

Often, it can take time for military members to become acclimated to home life again. It can take some time, but eventually military members will want to reassert their role as a part of the family, which can cause tension.

While some military members will want to regain the role they had before deployment, things have changed. Spouses are now more autonomous and are not quick to give up their independence. They may feel irritable when their spouse is constantly around, and need their own space, too.

During this time open communication is needed to reintegrate into the family structure. It’s important that everyone is patient and makes an effort to work things out.

Photo thanks to dvids via Flickr Creative Commons

The stress can make it a struggle to get out of bed some days. You’re not alone. Spouses everywhere are fighting deployment depression by finding ways to cope with the situation.

Here are some successful coping methods used by those who’ve been through it:

Don’t let a deployment control your happiness.

Schedule Some Activity

A weekly activity can give you something constant to look forward to as well as keep you moving and active. Some deployment depression can lead to and be elevated by weight gain, so joining a regular class at a gym or having a walk with a workout buddy can act as a double defense.

Reach Out to Support Groups

There are plenty of groups dedicated to deployment, depression and the military life in general. A blog on Military Money lists some great mental health resources for spouses to turn to including online sources. If you can’t get to a support group in your neighborhood the online message boards are a great way to connect with people going through the same thing.

Stay Social

Be sure to remain connected with friends or meet new ones by picking up a hobby or joining a club. They may not know exactly what you’re feeling, but a weekly coffee or lunch date is a way to get out of your own head and have some fun. Some spouses experience guilt when it comes to having fun, but consider it a way to take care of yourself and be in tip top shape for your spouse’s return.

Journal

Make sure you are meeting your needs to stay healthy in body and mind.

Missing your spouse gets harder when you realize you can’t always share the day-to-day life with them. Journaling is a way to release those urges and record details for when you do get the chance to speak. You can write out your feelings, your memories, fears or whatever else you need to soothe your mind.

Keep Busy

The mind can be your biggest enemy when it comes to fighting depression, so focusing on someone or something else can be a great ally. Volunteer somewhere or create a project for yourself, like redecorating the house. It could also be a great opportunity to take on some higher education. Check out our post on taking on new hobbies.

Take Care of Your Health

Eating right, aiming for eight hours of sleep, exposing yourself to sunlight and being sure to relax can help keep your health and mood intact. Taking little steps like eating a nutritional meal or taking a yoga class can go a long way toward helping you fend off depression.

Photo thanks to The National Guard via Flickr Creative Commons and Minimoko via Visual.ly Creative License