It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it. Here are a few ways you can express solidarity and work to ensure your military spouse knows you’ll always be there for them:

When reassuring your spouse consistency makes all the difference.

Get Embedded

One of the best ways you can show support for your spouse’s decision to join the military is to join it yourself—in the civilian sense. Get involved with your Family Readiness Group and try to find get-togethers and activities to get excited about. Try to meet some people and make some friends to establish a social life. Once your spouse sees that you can create a life alongside the military, his or her fear may be eased.

Communicate Carefully

Depending on whether your spouse is away on assignment, there are a few approaches to communicate in a way that shows your affection.

If your spouse is away, try to keep the communication consistent. Write regularly via email or post, but be sure not to promise anything you can’t deliver. Don’t promise to write every day if you know your schedule can get crazy. Falling back on a promise leaves room for doubt, so keep expectations realistic.

Also try to keep your communication open, but be sure to emphasize the good. If you two can only chat via phone, talk about some positive news such as some family fun or a new hobbyyou picked up. You can be honest about struggles you’re having, but be sure to

explain how you’re coping or trying to cope. Just expressing struggles may touch on a guilty feeling that he or she cannot be there for you. If they doubt they can meet your needs, their fear of you leaving may heighten.

One topic to ensure some investment is your future together. Perhaps you can talk about your future home, family or vacations.

When your service member needs extra assurance realize that this is just because he or she still needs to feel loved and needed, not that you are doing anything wrong.

Package Your Love in a Gift

You may not always be able to voice how you feel, but giving your spouse something tangible as a reminder of your affection can be helpful. It can be as simple as his or her favorite candy, movie, magazine or a picture.

Create a Scrapbook

The work and effort that goes into a scrapbook can be a great way to show that your relationship is worth it to you. You can show how much you appreciate old memories and it may even spark ideas to create new ones.

Photo courtesy of ianimmortal and nanny snowflake via Flickr.

Military Spouse Central asked for spouse opinions in which resulted in a few different approaches. Here are some to consider:

Reenlistment can be a big decision for the whole family

Service Member’s Decision

Some spouses want zero influence and take the “it’s his career choice and I’m here to support it” route. They may not discuss it at all with their spouse until the decision is made and it’s time to embrace it.

Give Opinion and See

Spouses also recognize the decision is ultimately their service members, but offer their help in voicing their concerns and perspective. Some common concerns that may be worth discussing include children, schooling, deployments and relocations.

Melissa Blietz didn’t want her husband to feel any regret and resentment if the decision wasn’t his own. So while she offered her thoughts, she assured him she was “behind him 100 percent, no matter what he decided to do.”

Dependant on Family Sacrifice

When a family is involved, a service member’s career greatly affects everyone. It may be beneficial to weigh the sacrifices each member may have to make for reenlistment. It may not just be time or financial aspects, but also aspirations. Tiffany Pitt-Meier made a plea to spouses that no matter what decision is made, spouses shouldn’t underestimate their role as a military spouse and should continue considering their own dreams.

Weigh Family and Personal Career

For Jay NearformerDarling, there are only two factors: “what’s best for our family… and what’s best for him.” If the service member decides to stay in and the family dynamic stays in tact, there is no problem. If the service member is miserable and decides not to reenlist, then the family can avoid resentment and find a way to start a new life.

Today You, Tomorrow Me

Michele Tveit Jackson stated her view quite when she replied, “I don’t mind following him around now because when he does get out, he will follow me and I don’t want him trying to tell me what to do with my career.” Spouses may take a back seat for now, but with the future in mind. You can choose to fully support whatever decision your spouse makes so they are prepared to return the favor when you both decide it’s your turn.

Secured Income

Some spouses focus on the practical side of a steady income before allowing their spouse to rush to any decision. Andrea Forte mentioned her husband can reenlist all he wants, but before he gets our he should make sure he can secure a civilian job.

Reserve Compromise

Another route to approach is the idea of reenlisting into the reserves as opposed to another active duty. The service member will have to discuss the option with a reserve counselor to make sure the transition can occur quickly enough and keep the transition smooth.

Photo courtesy of Morning Calm News