We asked readers at our Military Spouse Central Facebook page to share their advice new military spouses. They rose to the occasion, submitting dozens of excellent tips to help new military spouses start off on the right foot. Below are some of the most common military spouse tips shared:

Find a battle buddy and you’ll have a friend who always knows what you’re going through.

Battle Buddy

The No. 1 tip was finding a battle buddy, which means finding a fellow military spouse to confide in and relate to as time goes on. Anyone who understands what you’re going through can be a big help in dealing with the little things everyday as well as bridge the loneliness during a deployment.

Army wife Ashley Brantley wrote: “Find another military spouse, even if it’s online. Your world will become so much easier if you have someone to talk to that’s in the same boat. That made the world of difference to me.”

Benefits

Using military benefits wisely was another common theme. Spouse group member Jessica Wilson Nolan said, “Take advantage of any & all incentives. Gym, discounts, free oil change for spouse of the deployed, dinners for spouses of the deployed.”

For some families living on a deployment budget can be difficult. Military discounts can make it easier. Also, being aware of benefits like a VA home loan can save your family thousands of dollars on the bigger purchases in life.

The military is full of red tape, last-minute decisions and the we-need-it-now mentality.

Document Everything

Marrying into the military means marrying into bureaucracy. Many spouses mentioned the importance of keeping your documents in order.

Navy wife Jenna Levin shared this: “Never lose your ID. Know where your ID is, where your POAs (power of attorney) are, where copies of orders are, marriage licenses, birth certificates, Social Security cards, etc. Have copies of everything and my suggestion would be to either have a designated drawer for important papers or a fireproof lock box. Trust me on this one.”

It may seem like a no-brainer, but having all of these documents lined up and ready to go at a moment’s notice will make life a lot less stressful down the road when you’re fighting your way through red tape.

Take Care of Yourself

Taking care of yourself was another recurring theme. While many view deployment as a difficult and lonely time, it’s also seen as an opportunity for self-improvement. Army wife Angie Hayes also shared this great tip about deployment opportunities : “Try finding a little job or go to school so you won’t have so much time on your hands”

Whether you finally sign up for that gym membership or start working toward a degree, the free time that many fill with negative thoughts is better spent building your skills.

Deployment Milestones

A really interesting tip we received was about breaking up a deployment so it doesn’t seem so overwhelming. Jenna Levin suggests setting up some important events that you will look forward to. Whether this is starting and finishing an online class, taking a small vacation, getting concert tickets or simply catching up with some old friends, a nine-month deployment won’t seem so overwhelming with a fun event every few weeks.

Marrying into the military can be intimidating but it’s manageable and worth the extra work.

Relax

Some of the best tips recommended going with the flow, taking a deep breath and relaxing. Many military wives are stuck feeling like they have to take care of everything right away when it comes to a PCS or deployment.

Military Spouse Facebook user Julia Heflin shared this great piece of advice about relaxing as a military spouse: “Instead of trying to control everything, just go with the flow. When things get frustrating, don’t take it out on your spouse, and enjoy each duty station because chances are when you move again, you’ll miss it.”

The military lifestyle is full of hurry-up-and-wait moments. Expect that dates will change, documents will be lost and there will always be a hoop to jump through. Remember that these changes are no one’s fault and even though you may be annoyed, you’ll make it through and still be glad you married into the military.

Photos courtesy of winged photography, Ed Yourdon and thinkvisualdesign

As a military spouse we are a pretty elite club. I was very intimidated when I first became a military spouse, having very little previous experience with the military. The first thing I found out about the military is that it comes with a lot, and I mean a lot, of paperwork!

So how can you get started now that you are officially a military spouse?  In order to keep track of it all, we put together a list of the most urgent items to tackle immediately after you are married!

After “I Do” there is quite a bit to do!

Getting Started

DEERS

I always tell everyone that the first thing you need to worry about is getting into DEERS. This is the very first step because you need to be in DEERS to get your military dependent ID (and you will use your ID for everything) Ask your spouse to enroll you in Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System (DEERS). Your spouse has to be the one to get this started!

You will need: a copy of your marriage license, and other personal identification like your driver’s license, social security cards and/or birth certificates.

In most cases you can update information in DEERS online or through the Tricare website.

Military ID Card

Once you get your military id card, don’t go anywhere without it!

Get a military identification card as soon as possible. You will need it for everything. Even kids 10 and older, will need ID cards. It will become the way you access everything in the military, base access, exchanges and commissaries, even medical care. Most military installations have an ID card facility where you can get you ID card.

You will need: Department of Defense Form 1172 (automatically generated when you are registered in DEERS), your marriage license, and other personal identification like birth certificate, driver’s license, passport, social security card, etc.

Legal Issues

Power of Attorney

I cannot stress enough how important this is, especially if your spouse is scheduled to deploy. Power of Attorney gives you authority or permission to conduct business (think legal and financial) in your spouse’s place when they are unreachable or unavailable. I have found that it is one of those things that you never know you are going to need until you need it, so it is good to have just in case!

Military Legal Services are available on most military installations and they will help you establish power of attorney for free. You will fill out a form and they’ll prepare the legal POA document.

Sample POA request form from the Fort Leonard Wood Legal Services office.

Emergency Contact Form

Ask your service member to update his or her record of emergency data sheet. This is one of those icky ones I don’t like to talk about because I would rather not think about. This form lists who to contact and immediate directions in case of serious injury, illness or death. I hope the military never needs it, but if they do, it is very important to have filled out.

Update with your spouse’s command, DD Form 93.

Life Insurance

Life insurance is another one that I don’t even like to talk about because I know there is a very real possibility he could be killed in the line of duty.  I try to just treat it for what it is though: it is always important to keep life insurance policies up to date. Have your spouse updated his or her Serviceman’s Group Life Insurance (SGLI) policy beneficiaries.

More info on how to update SGLI.

Taxes

Decide if you need to change your state and federal income tax status to reflect your marital status. You can consult your tax professional or the installation’s Voluntary Income Tax Assistance program (VITA) to make sure you receive proper tax advice.

Benefit Programs

Healthcare

There are several different types of Tricare coverage but military dependents do need to enroll in Tricare separately.

To explore eligibility and services you can visit Tricare’s website.

Dental

United Concordia manages TRICARE’s dental program for family members of service members. (Because active-duty service members receive dental care through their service branches, they are not eligible.) For details, visit the TRICARE Dental site.

Housing

If you live in housing on a military installation the rent and base utilities are free. If you choose to live in private housing your spouse will receive Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) in their pay to help cover the costs. Check out the Defense BAH calculator.

If you would like to live on base you need to apply for government housing. The housing office on your military installation can put you on the waiting list for housing, usually with minimal initial paperwork. I have found that the base housing office is an excellent resource for finding private housing as well.

This certainly doesn’t cover all of the benefits you are eligible for or all of the logistics of living on or off base, but it does give you a solid place to start! Also don’t be afraid to ask your installation’s spouse and family support centers for help or guidance. They can usually point you in the right direction.

Welcome to life as a military spouse!

Photo thanks to rosemaryann , heraldpost & Maureen Lunn via Flickr Creative Commons