Military couples may find it even tougher to stick it out seeing as deployments, trainings and permanent changes of station are constantly changing circumstances. But with some thoughtful planning and communication married couples can merge money matters without hassle and keep the financial honeymoon going.

When you are planning to get married make sure you and your spouse discuss these topics:

Budgeting and finances are major issues in marriage so start off on the right foot.

Budget

You both have expenses, fixed and flexible. The first step is to list them all separately to determine the costs you and your spouse are facing together. This is also the time to discuss overall attitudes towards finances. Things like how much money should be spent on different non-essential items should be outlined.

There are free websites such as Mint.com that provide various budgeting forms and tools to can help get you started when you are organizing your finances together for the first time.  Check out this post by Smart Military Money on how to use these online tools to make budgeting easier. Once you have a projected budget, you and your spouse can use it to compare your actual spending tracked over time.

Deciding to Combine Accounts

• Bank Account: Some couples combine bank accounts, some keep them split and some create a new joint account in addition to their own. It really depends on preference. Combining accounts allows couples to use the same bank source and have a common location. Also, if anything were to happen to you or your spouse, the right of survivorship will transfer ownership to the surviving member. Having multiple people on an account increases the need for constant communication because misunderstanding could lead to incorrect balances and/or overdrawn accounts. As long as there is ample communication and delegated balancing times, couples can easily overcome these obstacles.
• Insurance: Many couples compare their health care benefits and decide which would provide the most benefit if combined into a family plan. With the military, service members and family are offered TRICARE to cover health, dental and pharmaceutical benefits for active and retired members. Auto and homeowners insurance may also offer discounts if combined.
• Cell Phone: You and your spouse can save some money by switching to a family plan for your cell phone providers. In fact if you use your military discount on certain providers, you can save even more.

Delegating Responsibility

Now that pool expenses is under one roof, you’ll have to determine who will be responsible for making payments and performing tasks like grocery shopping. The tasks can be split evenly, given to one person or rotated throughout the year. Couples have found success with each method, so again it’s left to you and your spouse’s preference.

How will the bills get paid?

A specific note for military couples is to discuss having shared access to the responsibility. Spouses of military members should obtain a power of attorney, which will allow them to make financial decisions on behalf of their spouse if deployed or unable to access accounts. Finances are a very important thing to talk about before any deployment. Be sure to share account numbers, passwords and due dates.

For those couples who may face or are facing a deployment, check out Smart Military Money’s financial checklist for the soon-to-be-deployed

Tackling Debt

Debt is a problem for marriage, no matter who it originates with, since both credit scores can play into major purchases. The first step is disclosing the amount of debt each other is facing as well as the interest rates.

Set goals together for when you want each loan paid off and evaluate the plan with each other as months go by. Some couples choose to combine debts by paying the most toward the principal with the highest interest rate. That way, it can be paid off first and you two can tackle the less burdensome debts.

Stash Cash

A good habit for couples to get into is contributing extra cash or dedicating a certain percentage of pay to a savings account. It’s recommended that couples have three to six times their monthly expenses in savings for any emergencies or unexpected loss of income. Newlyweds probably don’t have such a stash on hand after a wedding, honeymoon and home purchase, but with commitment and patience, they can get there.

Photo thanks to RambergMediaImages and Brad_Chaffee via Flickr Creative Commons

In some circumstances, deployment can cause service members to miss out on important events: anniversaries, birthdays and even the birth of a baby. Unfortunately, there isn’t a way to predict when a military member will be deployed.

Pregnant military spouses are forced to accept that their husbands will be away during the pregnancy, and perhaps, even during childbirth. During this time, it is important to develop a strategy and a plan for coping.

Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help

Just because you are without your husband doesn’t mean you should go through the pregnancy completely alone.
While your husband’s presence is irreplaceable, turning to a family member or close friend for support is a good idea.
According to Army OneSource, “Having a good friend to be a labor coach during the absence of a spouse provides a great comfort.”
Family members and close friends provide a support system that cares about you. Often, they can help soothe your anxiety and fears while your husband is away.

Take Advantage of Available Resources

Most military installations have a New Parent Support Program (NPSP). The program may offer home visits by NPSP staff, supervised playgroups, parenting classes and other parenting materials.
Remember, being a military spouse has its perks. Each branch of the military has its own resources for expecting parents.
Also, don’t forget to enroll in Tricare, the military health care program, to avoid expensive charges for your obstetric care.

Try to Keep Your Husband Involved

Good communication is the key to surviving a pregnancy apart from your husband. He will want to know about everything that’s going on with you and the baby.
Whether you’re using the postal service or communicating online with tools such as email or Skype, finding ways to share the pregnancy together is important. He will appreciate pictures, letters and anything else you’re willing to share.

Have A Back Up Plan

As a military spouse you quickly learn that anything can change at any time with little or no notice. Plan for the unexpected to happen well in advance. Have a backup plan and a backup backup plan. If you expect that your husband will be home for the birth, prepare yourself emotionally and logistically for the event that something may go differently than planned. The only thing more unpredictable than the military is pregnancy. Try to have a plan so that you can “go with the flow” if plans and procedures change.

Photo thanks to genue.luben via Flickr Creative Commons

To ease the transition, families should have a communication strategy prior to deployment.

Traditional Communication Methods

Traditional methods of communication should not be overlooked because of new options that are available. Letters, care packages and phone calls are still great means of communication with a deployed service member.

Letters

Service members will always appreciate letters from home. When there are extended periods without contact they often reread letters to boost morale. Sending a handwritten letter is emotionally satisfying, while still inexpensive.

Care packages

Care packages are important. to help service members feel connected with their families. During deployment they provide a small piece of home to help ease loneliness.

Here are a few content suggestions:
• Pictures
• Magazines
• Favorite Snacks
• Home Videos

New Communication Methods

With proper preparation service members may be able to use the Internet to stay connected to their families. Innovations in technology allow families to communicate in new ways.

Email

For deployed military members an email is the electronic version of the letter. Providing service members with quick and up-to-date information, email allows families to keep everyone on the same page.

Free email accounts are available through Yahoo, Google or Hotmail providers.

Instant Messaging

Instant messenger services are convenient communication tools for active duty military members. Programs like Skype, Yahoo Messenger and AOL Messenger provide users with video and voice options along with the basic messaging tools.

Service members should keep in mind that there are differences in features among the services. Families should choose the instant messaging program that best fits their needs.

Skype

Skype provides the most comprehensive service. As long as both parties have a webcam and microphone video conferencing is possible. For families with children this provides a sense of togetherness and allows them to see their parent’s face.

Skype provides many services, including:
• Instant messages
• SMS Text messages
• Video Calls
• Skype to Skype calls
• Low-cost calls to landlines and cell phones around the world
• Skype Voice Mail

Military members should check to see what options are available where they will be deployed; they may be allowed to bring a laptop or cell phone..

Defense Switched Networks

An additional option for communication is DSN (Defense Switched Networks) lines that are provided by the military. Service members that are near a base with a DSN network can call a base located close to their family. Even though conversations are usually brief, DSN lines are additional options for sustaining a connection during the challenging separation.

A Cautious Note:
Service members deploying for the first time should take careful note of Operational Security procedures when it comes to communicating with family and friends back home.

Photo thanks to FamilyMWR via Flickr Creative Commons