The frustrations will come, and while it is important to have an open communication with your spouse, it may not always be appropriate, or healthy to vent your troubles to him/her. Instead of letting all that emotion boil up inside, or come rushing out all at once, try healthy ways to vent frustration.
Here are some techniques to try:

Take it to Technology

Mashable.com lists over 24 sites like JustAnger.com and Asshat that are dedicated to venting anger. Sometimes something as simple as putting your anger out to the world can help.

If you just need to say how you feel, and talk to people that might understand, there is a Military Spouse Central page on Facebook in which you are free to post and receive comments from fellow spouses.

Write and Rip

A key to freeing yourself from frustration is discovering what it is exactly that you’re upset with and the specific emotions surrounding it. Write out how you feel into a journal entry. If that isn’t enough, get some of the energy out by ripping the page into pieces.

Make Something Out of It

Some of the best art has been the product of intense emotion. Use yours to paint, write or work out some aggression by chiseling or carving something great.

One trick is to write all your thoughts on a canvas and paint over them. That way, you can say whatever you want and keep it your little secret.

Work, Work, Work it Out

Chances are, with your anger comes energy or stress. Use it. Go for a long run, punch a punching bag or go to a boxing class. Maybe a few sets with the free weights will be enough to calm you down.

If you’re looking for more of a grounding effect, try to breathe deep with a yoga session or take a long walk in nature. Both can help you focus on other things besides your

Take a Drive

Go for a drive, put on some music and sing/scream your heart out. You can even say your frustrations out loud.

Take the Anger to the Virtual World

While there is still a debate on whether or not they corrupt our children, violent video games may help take the edge off of your frustration. Rather than punch a wall or another person, use gaming devices as a healthier outlet. Whether you spend your time reaching 100 kills in Halo or saving Princess Peach from Koopa, you’ll have had plenty of time to calm down.

Photo thanks to breahn via Flickr Creative Commons

Be Realistic

Before your spouse arrives home, romantic thoughts of having him or her all to yourself will arise. But don’t expect this to translate into reality, especially if you have kids. In fact, children are more likely to let their parents have alone time if they spent time with the returning service member first.

You can consider a more family oriented activity at the outset. But some Military Spouse readers, such as Katie Givens, suggested structuring time with family. “Get away from the family,” she wrote. “It was the best thing we could have done. We gave them each a day to have a meal with him.”

No matter what, make sure communication is paramount. Talk to your spouse before the R&R to find out what they’re comfortable with. Communication before the visit gives both of you the chance to roughly outline plans. Returning spouses may want some alone time to sleep, get over jet lag or adapt to be home. Be understanding and welcoming. As Military Spouse reader Jessica Rivera put it, “Let the soldier rest!”

Keep it Light

If you want to spend quality time together, avoid controversial topics and serious marital problems. The short amount of time you share during R&R shouldn’t be consumed by negative tension and fighting. Plus it’s often not enough time to hash out any problems that lingered before the spouse left.

Even if there is a long list of chores to do around the house and you need your spouse’s help cleaning the gutter or organizing the basement, do not burden your returning spouse upon arrival. If the time seems right pare down the list to some of the easier tasks you can do together.

It’s better to enjoy time together with a cluttered basement than to spend a few angst-filled days together bickering over a to-do list.
For service members returning from combat zones, a quieter home is often ideal. Be affectionate and do what you can to help them rest and relax.
This is especially important if you are, say, introducing a new family member, or have young children. Keep plans simple. Elaborate parties or vacations are not necessary. Less is more.

Stay Healthy

In anticipation of a return home, a service member’s nostalgia may make them long for their favorite fast food, dessert or locally-brewed beer. Be wary of excessive celebrations that may be unhealthy, but certainly be ready to indulge. Remember that a service member has a very different daily diet while deployed. Their body will handle changes better if they are gradual and not overdone. The trick here is to celebrate but make sure it is in moderation. The last thing you want is to have your soldier (or you) be ill during R&R!

Cherish Every Moment

Try to arrange a special event for just the two of you. It can be as simple as a night at home with popcorn and a movie or a fancy dinner at a five-star restaurant.  Live in the moment and appreciate the bond you two share.
“Just do whatever sounds good when you wake up,” wrote Military Spouse reader Nena Harris.
Take pictures when other family comes over or your spouse is playing with the kids and have others take pictures of you and your spouse.

Remember that R&R can change at any time, sometimes even requiring service member to leave early.
Take none of your time together for granted because you’ll have to say “See you soon” all too soon.

Photo thanks to The U.S. Army via Flickr Creative Commons

I tend to send tons of letters  and get the first few care packages off without a hitch… then I am at a loss of what else to send. While my spouse assured me repeated packages with the same favorite items are still loved and appreciated, I still wanted some new ideas.

We asked our community of military spouses and they came up with some tips and ideas for care packages that you can look forward to making, and your spouse can look forward to receiving.

Here are some fun ideas and tips:

Try Themes

You can get creative with your packages by having a central theme for each item. Here are some theme ideas to get you started:

A Day with You

For this package, you should make a camera your sidekick. Take pictures of you doing typical activities throughout the day, and then pair a gift with each. Snap a photo of you getting out of bed in the morning and send a new pillowcase with your scent.
Doing yard work? Some spouses will send a bag of lawn clippings for a simple reminder of home. Other ideas are watching a movie and sending the DVD; eating a meal and sending a vacuum-sealed version; and throwing a Frisbee around with the dog/kids/friends and sending a Frisbee. Get creative with your day and help your military member feel a bit at home.

Movies are one of the most requested items.

Send a Showtime

You can’t send a movie theatre, but you can send the goodies that go along with one. Send your spouse a favorite movie or a new-release DVD to enjoy with his buddies along with some snacks. You can pop popcorn and vacuum seal it for the shipping as well as send theater candies and nacho supplies. As a bonus, you can make a picture of you into a movie poster or create a ticket stub.

Fun in the Sun

With much of our military stationed in the Middle East, your spouse may have plenty of sun. Your job is to send the fun. You can send your spouse dollar-store squirt guns and beach balls to play with. Also when temperatures head towards triple digits, a Popsicle is always a treat. Send your spouse the flavor ice pops, and for fun, individualize each pop with a fun message.

Other Gestures:

Date Reservation

You can send your spouse a date card with a specific time for you two to be together in thought under the sky or wherever you decide. It’ll be a long distance connection and a reminder of your love for each other.

Personalized Items

Spouses have gotten creative with things to personalize. Some ideas include pillowcases, T-shirts, blankets, mugs, calendars and even soaps. See what you can come up with!

Newspapers, Magazines and Books

Depending on what your spouse likes, you can send a series of books or a favorite magazine subscription. Some wives like to pre-read newspapers and circle items that stand out. It’s almost as if they’re discussing the news together.

Practical Package Tips

Check items with FRG or your soldier before sending anything unusual, units often have individual rules on what can be sent in packages.

Do

• Invest in a vacuum sealer. You can send baked treats like cookies or protect the glass in picture frames from breaking.
• Take into account the resources your spouse has. If there isn’t time for your spouse to brew coffee, or they are without a microwave for tea or hot cocoa, consider sending alternate resources like an electric kettle.
• Remember that all packages are inspected, don’t send anything dangerous, sharp, flammable OR anything your spouse wouldn’t be ok with his commander seeing (that means some soldiers would prefer it to stay PG, check with your spouse first before sending any items that may be too “personal”)
• Send several smaller packages rather than one huge package. The smaller the package, the faster it arrives. USPS recommends under 6 pounds.
• Send in advance. If you are trying to get it by a certain date, send it plenty of time in advance, seriously, up to 30 days in advance.

Don’t

• Send glass jars without ample protection. Your packages made have a lot of love and care put into them, but it doesn’t mean the couriers will treat it with such.
• Send too many well-supplied items. Service members often get a large supply of toothpaste and toothbrushes, but not enough socks. Talk to your spouse about specific needs of the group and try to stick to those. For the rest of the package, send some fun.
• Send anything that melts. Many soldiers love chocolate and may even request it but after travelling through the 120 degree weather in Iraq or Afghanistan it will be gross, I promise! Think about each item and how heat and travel time will affect them.
• Send hygiene products and food products next to each other. Use ziplock bags, in fact, double bag. You do not want your soldier’s favorite food to taste like Old Spice deodorant.

Photo thanks to The U.S. Army and Luodani via Flickr Creative Commons

Here are some good places to consider when looking for companionship:

Organized Interest Groups

• Your public library more than likely offers organized book clubs. Not only can you entertain your brain, but you can also have regularly scheduled social interaction.
• Churches commonly offer Bible studies, women and men’s groups, youth groups and multiple volunteer opportunities in and outside the church. You can explore the choir and band or do outreach while meeting others with similar interests.
• Check out your local craft store, YMCA or other local community building for postings on hobby groups or classes. Even if you don’t have a specific hobby you love, you can learn a new craft and meet friends by joining a group.

Playgroups

• If you have children, you can find other parents through websites like Mommy and Me and Daddy and Me. There are age-specific groups such as Mothers of Preschoolers to draw even more similarities to others parents. Do a search for your area and start networking. Perhaps you can even work out a babysitting deal for those special date nights with your spouse!

Gym or Sports League

• The gym can be more of a social place than most think. There are often exercise classes you can attend, or you can strike up a conversation while stretching or lifting weights. Put yourself out there—chances are, you’ll see the same people as you continue your membership.
• Join a bowling league or some other sports league offered in your community. The competitive camaraderie can be a great bonding experience.

Volunteer

• MilServe and Serve.gov are two sources for volunteer opportunities in and outside of the military. Participate in a great cause while meeting great people.

Classes

• The military offers financial benefits when it comes to getting a higher education. You can earn your degree and use your classes to meet new friends. Extend those social interactions by joining study groups or discussions outside the classroom.
• The military also offers classes and groups around military base actions, such as deployment. Participate in all that’s offered and use your Family Readiness Groups and briefings to meet people in similar situations.

Part-time Job

• Jobs are a way to bond with coworkers, but choosing a social environment such as a coffee shop is a way to create even more social opportunities.

Your Neighborhood

• Just by walking your dog or going to a park gets you out in the community. Greet your neighbors and introduce yourself to everyone you meet. Chances are they’re in or were in the same position as you.

Photo thanks to cristiano_betta via Flickr Creative Commons