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A military member’s homecoming is almost always an exciting, jubilant event that restores stability and peace of mind. But spouses with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can return home a changed person.
About one in five military members returning from Iraq and Afghanistan report PTSD symptoms, but only half typically seek treatment, according to a 2008 study by the Rand Corporation.
Spouses can face an array of challenges when a loved one begins to exhibit symptoms of the disorder. But there are paths to treatment and help for spouses and service members alike.
Recognizing PTSDTraumatic, shocking or disturbing events can cause PTSD. Witnessing deaths of fellow service members or surviving a life-threatening event may cause PTSD, too. Mainly, PTSD anxiety is rooted in reliving the traumatic event.
Several symptoms may come and go, but the disorder will remain. Common symptoms can include:
If these symptoms sound familiar and occur frequently your spouse may have PTSD, which requires professional help. Take a sensitive, affectionate approach that shows you care. Something like, “It seems something is bothering you. Let’s talk to the VA and our primary physician” can be effective.
If you’re a wife talking to your husband, your words could either trigger a macho response or guide him in the right direction. Men with PTSD have tendencies to get embarrassed, tight-lipped or aggressive. Tell your husband that together you should seek help for the sake of your marriage and family.
Therapeutic treatments, which may be covered by the VA, are designed to help PTSD veterans talk through their symptoms. Whether a veteran chooses group, family, exposure or cognitive therapy is up to him or her. Guidelines for talking to doctors about PTSD may help, too.
Regardless of the treatment your veteran spouse chooses, be supportive.
At the same time, feel comfortable introducing your spouse to additional treatment options. An abundance of veteran organizations make it their mission to get veterans helping other veterans. Veterans of Foreign Wars, Wounded Warrior Project and Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America are great resources to suggest to your spouse for developing connections with other veterans.
What may be seen as “alternative treatments” in treating PTSD have gained traction in recent years. Yoga and acupuncture introduce meditative or therapeutic relief, especially when combined with other therapies. With the finding that antipsychotic and antidepressant medications aren’t as effective as desired, some veterans pursue these alternative treatments in conjunction with therapy or medication.
Encouraging your spouse to maintain a healthy lifestyle is important to overcoming PTSD symptoms. If the timing for encouragement doesn’t seem right, at least ensure that your spouse does not pick up unhealthy habits. Eating right, exercising and staying employed are keys to good health and will possibly minimize PTSD symptoms.
With as much as 20 percent of veterans coming home with PTSD, spouses want to be prepared to help their veteran spouse deal with PTSD. The National Center for PTSD is loaded with resources.
Figuring out how to help your veteran spouse cope with PTSD may take time. Don’t try to rush your husband or wife to therapy. Remind them you’re there to help and show them affection when they’re ready. Together, the two of you can alleviate PTSD’s effects, and keep your relationship healthy.
Photo thanks to BBCworldservice via Flickr Creative Commons
Helping your military spouse through his/her PTSD symptoms can be a difficult road. But, what if your spouse is fighting a different battle? Breast Cancer. According to a 2009 study, military women are 20 to 40 percent more likely to be diagnosed with breast cancer than other women in the same age groups. Here’s how breast cancer and the military collide.
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5 Comments
I am really curious to see how many military spouses suffer from PTSD due to their spouse’s deployments/service… Anyone have those statistics?
It is only since finding this site that I have felt normal in over a year, my husbands PTSD has made me feel crazy. If he seems me cry he flips, that’s when he attacks…if I show his behavior affects me in anyway he verbally attacks me. As long as I smile through his outburst I can keep things under control, how ever I don’t know if he knows now how broken inside he’s made me or even cares too. Here’s the thing Everything is my fault, I’m every name in “the book” so if I dare ask him to seek Help, I’m the one that’s crazy he’ll say. Suicide has even crossed my mind, I’m at my breaking point with this man that I deeply love and care about……I want all of you to know it’s your stories that have given me enough perspective to know “this is not my fault, I am not a bad person and I will get through this, with or without him, because I matter too.”
Thank you so much for your comment! Stay strong.
My husband Has been on 3 deployments since June 2007. He was a reservist that is now active duty after his 1st deployment, so we are not a traditional military family. My children do have PTSD i believe and over the past 5 years I have been their champion for counseling.
We did not move with my husband when he went active because we knew he would be deploying in 6 months with his new unit (6 months between first and second deployments). The children and I have stayed at our residence for stability. I also think this helped my husband separate military and home (he was stationed 1400 miles away). We also had marriage problems, family heart ache and teenage situations during this time. He is now changing MOS and attending school 600 miles away. He is home every other weekend. Now the PTSD is getting bad. I knew he had “baggage”,but now it is eating at him.Christmas Eve he snuck off. I followed and he asked if he could see our daughters counselor. This past weekend at a family gathering he looked upset so I pulled him to the side. He said he feels lost and he only gets a full night of sleep when he is home. I told him I don’t know where to go to help him, he said he knows. I told him I am so proud of him for knowing he needs help and asking and we will do this together. I offered to take time off from work anf follow him back for support.He has only a couple weeks of school left so I don’t know if he will wait for school to end. Our marriage has improved and school has slowed the “military” regimen in his life. I think this lack of chaos has actually promoted the PTSD because of the calm. I don’t know what I am asking, maybe just need to tell someone. I am used to just handling problem and this I cannot.
Hi Michelle,
I can commiserate a bit with your spouse. I’ve only been on one deployment and returned back in 2011 from Afghanistan. I’m sorry to say that I too brought home the stresses of war. Exhibiting the same symptoms that you describe above I really believe that it happens to all of us. It has taken me just over a year to ‘get back to normal’. Instrumental in my ‘recovery’ was a counselor at the VET Center near where I live. My recommendation is that you both seek out the help of the counselors there. It is free to the member and their families.
Hope events get better soon!