Military Spouse Network
Tips, news and community createdjust for Military Spouses.
Access our library of free homebuying ebooks and PDF guides.
The age-old question: What should I wear?
The military ball is an event that’s looked forward to by military members and their dates alike. It’s a night where those who have so dutifully served are allowed to indulge in some longstanding traditions, great food and drink, and a whole lot of fun.
For those who will be first-time dates to this year’s military ball, here are a few tips to keep in mind to make sure that you look appropriate and stylish:
As a date to a military ball, you’re there to complement your date, the service member. So don’t wear a bold dress in a loud color. This is the military member’s day, not yours. Try finding a dress in black, navy or even deep red or white, all colors that will nicely complement your date’s dress uniform. Keep it simply with no loud prints, and keep it classy, with just a few rhinestones or other embellishments here or there.
When picking out your outfit, consider how you’ll look together.
When it comes to the cut or style of a dress, I’m always a strong advocate for wearing a dress that best flatters your figure. It will make you look stunning and feel most comfortable. Keep in mind that while wearing a slinky, short and backless dress may be fun and sexy for a night out at the clubs, it isn’t appropriate at a ball. Think about what your outfit says about you and remember that what you wear does reflect on your spouse. A military ball is a formal occasion and the general consensus is that women should wear a floor-length gown as a matter of formality. I advise that when you question if an outfit is appropriate, err on the side of caution. Plunging necklines, backless numbers and thigh-high slits are common trends in formal wear, but just because something is popular doesn’t make it any more appropriate.
Keeping your dress on the simple side is better than going over-the-top
A military ball merits well-manicured nails and well-done hair, so make sure you book your appointment in advance. You don’t need the up-do that you donned during prom, but a sophisticated hairstyle goes great with a formal dress.
Leave the flip flops at home. Even if you have a floor-length gown, you still need elegant shoes to match. Heels are always a great option. Just make sure to keep the heel classy, too, with few straps and only a mild peep toe. Also, wear them before the ball to break them in and make sure they’re comfortable enough that you will not end the night limping!
A military ball is a must-attend event. No matter how concerned you are with your outfit for the evening, always keep in mind that first and foremost, this is an event for your service member. So, instead of fiddling with your hair or worrying about the pain your heels are causing, be sure to let the service member in your life know that this is his special night and that you’re proud of him.
Photos courtesy of Laurie Avocado, U.S. Army Corps of Engineers Los Angeles District and Maneula
59 Comments
I attended a military ball last week, I saw some girls wearing flipflops…but I guess it can slide since we’re in Hawaii ? lol yes or no? (I chose heals that made me feet swell a day after, kind of wish I wore flops now).
I wouldnt wear flip flops even in hawaii! Thats just showing you don’t care!
(hint sometimes I stash flip flops in my purse for later in the night)
People will break the “rules” all the time, I have seen flip flops before too and it probably might be more acceptable in a beach environment like Hawaii but I still choose to wear a little heel for a more formal look.
It is ok to break the mold and the rules sometimes, I don’t mean that these are rules that need to be followed 100% of the time, they are just general guidelines and traditions.
What about people that don’t wear dresses or heels? is there any good dressy shirt/pants or shirt/skirt combos? what about alternative shoes?
I would NEVER wear pants to a Military Ball. This is one occasion
that you need to just suck it up and go Cinderella style.
Bridal boutiques usually carry dressy pantsuits but I’d still suggest considering a simple, elegant gown worn with low heels. My favorites are ballroom dance shoes which are available in various heel heights and widths. And yes, you can actually dance in them
I wouldn’t suggest wearing a pants outfit, no matter how nice. I have seen a few older wives wear very lovely skirt outfits. As for the shoes, you could always get a nice pair of flats. Honestly I would stick with a dress but like I said a nice skirt combo could go well.
I am going to a military ball this Aug and I am going to wear a nice 3 peice formal pant suit. I see nothing wrong with this and my soldier likes the suit and will feel very comfortable with me at his side. I agree with above, we are guests and can wear what we want within reason. And a nice formal pant suit gets my vote!
There was a woman at the last ball we attended wearing a very sleek and beautiful black pantsuit. She looked sensational! Very classy and beautiful.
were some of these tips written in the 50′s? get real.
“So, instead of fiddling with your hair or worrying about the pain your heels are causing, be sure to let the service member in your life know that this is his special night and that you’re proud of him” ”This is the military member’s day, not yours.”
I totally agree.
It is a night to celebrate a the service and the service members, and it is fun and often gives nod to family and spouses but in the end the day is supposed to be focused on them.
This goes for women and men – not that wives should support men because they are men but because this is an event designed to show support and respect for the service.
Hmmm I’m not sure who wrote this, but apparently they were
not married to a Marine. My husband LOVES Bright flamboyant dresses and doesn’t
want me to blend in to his uniform. “He” is the serves member and I am his
WIFE. Come on “writer”…. We live in 2012 not 1220.
”
We live in 2012 not 1220 ” – Perfectly said.
This was probably written by the spouse of someone extremely high ranking, or very old school. I get the need to be appropriate, but appropriate and prudish are not the same thing. I find a lot of things on here that rub me the wrong way, it seems this is geared towards traditional gender roles. I have come across a few links to other blogs that absolutely infuriate me, but I just keep my mouth shut as I don’t mean to bring negativity to what is an encouragement to some.
Still irritates me, though. You can be a modern woman and still be a good military spouse. This IS 2012.
I definitely don’t mean that you have to be prudish or wear a dress that says you belong in the convent, I just caution people to use tact. Mostly I just have seen some outfits that are very unbecoming, that probably speak more to someone being young and not thinking about what their outfit says about them.
I do appreciate your feedback and input though. And just for your sake, My husband is a Sergeant, not an officer, and I am 27, I hardly consider myself old school or even conservative. I just wanted to give some of my personal opinion and advice. I appreciate you sharing yours as well! It is great to get lots of opinions.
Adrienne, definitely on your side an couldn’t agree more with you. I’ve attended quite a few Marine Corps balls with my sister, husband and brother being in and all and I found it can get, for lack of a better word, trashy. Some of these women have no tact and frankly I get embarrassed for them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m 25 and I’m not heavy by any means(just in case some of you may think that’s why I’m anti- provocative) and I always ensure to have a classy gown so that it won’t reflect poorly on my husband, especially as he goes higher up in the ranks. The colors arent so much of an issue, go by the season of you’d like but belly cutouts and high slits? That’s a no-go. And guess what, yea it is for your service member so suck it up for a night and try not to embarrass them too much, no one wants to have THAT wife who had a wardrobe malfunction while her and her husband were speaking to his Captain. Classy not trashy girls.
Why does modern have to mean flashy, tight, or short? No one is asking ladies to wear a nuns outfit. Simply saying beautiful can be tasteful.
I think the writer simply meant that in formal occasions (such as a military ball) loud color dresses and patterns (leopard print, neon orange, electric green, etc) aren’t really appropriate. Honestly, that’s pretty much rule of thumb when it comes to formal events. Not saying you should stick to basic black or navy. There are plenty of gorgeous gowns in fun colors that would work. I wore a pewter colored Temperley London gown with a very flattering yet sexy neckline to my husbands regimental ball. I’ve been to a fair bit of military balls, both Marine Corps and Army (dad is a Marine and husband is in the Army). I’ve seen my fair share of inappropriate outfits and women that dressed too ‘promish’. I think that how you dress reflects upon your spouse. My husband loves me in sexy outfits but at the same time, he may become embarrassed if my boobs were hanging out all over the place. Like I said there are plenty of modern/sexy options as well as old school that are both sexy, modest, and appropriate for the ball.
I have actually seen many “sexy” outfits work well for a military ball but within the parameters of being appropriate. Form fitting and flattering dresses are great, I don’t even mind a lower cut dress, just be aware how the dress fits you and watch the line between sexy and too sexy.
There is quite a bit of discussion on floor length dresses, and while it is definitely a rule that is not followed all the time anymore, it is definitely something that some people get up in arms about so it is something I like to tell new military spouses.
Basically just be aware that some people feel that a floor length dress is a must – so break the mold if you would like to, but that way at least you can choose to break the mold or you can choose to go with tradition.
Being classy and sophisticated is timeless…it doesn’t matter the decade. Bright and flamboyant is not a fashion, it is simply a fad. You’re there to support your spouse and his commitment. You can look beautiful to him and yourself without the flashy. Save that for a romantic night with just the two of you. I can appreciate that your husband likes you in those style clothes, but remember in those situations, you and your husband are being looked upon by others, including his chain of command. You want to show him off and make him proud to be with you, not be the talk of everyone after the ball.
You can wear cute ballet flats, seriously. I never wear heels because they hurt my feet and I dress for myself, not some bored idiot who has nothing better to do then judge someone on their clothing.
I *never* wear shoes that hurt. Shoes are temporary, feet are forever. Have you tried ballroom dance shoes? They’re my favorite for formal events because they’re comfortable but they don’t look it
White is the one color I’d avoid…it can appear a bit bridal plus it can be difficult to photograph next to a much darker uniform. http://www.jackiehoustonstyle.com/2012/03/top-five-tips-on-how-to-dress-for-a-military-ball/
The thing that bothers me most about this article is that it seems very condecensing to military wives and spouses.
I definitely didn’t mean it that way lady.bug! Thanks for your feedback though. I just mean to outline what you should think about before choosing your outfit.
This is exactly what is happening in our military today. Call it “old school” or what you want but tradition SHOULD be maintained and if you do not want to keep your breasts in for the evening or cover your rear end then stay home. You can suck it up for one night, a few hours, to show some classs. It does not take your individuality away to simply do what you are suppose to do for a few hours. How about the men of the women military members wearing their pants below their butt or cut off shorts?? Turn it around and grow up, people have died because they believe in the military.
It’s basic etiquette and simple good manners to follow the dress code for *any* event — civilian or military. For example, would anyone dream of wearing white to a wedding unless specifically directed to do so? Clothes communicate —
sometimes even more loud and clear than words. It’s always a good idea to
consider what your clothes say and whether your message will be
understood. I urge clients to express their individuality and personal
tastes in accordance with whatever the dress code is — rather than
flouting it. Focus on presenting your best self and people will focus
more on *you* and what you have to say.
Clearly you’re new to the Military….or you have your eyes
closed one. Have you even been to a Military Ball? My husband is a season
Marine in which we have been affiliated with the Marine Corps for over 18
years. If anybody knows TRADITION or OLD SCHOOL that would be me; I’m not sure
what branch of the Military you are with, nor do I care at this point, but the
TRADITON you speak of is for the “SERVICE MEMBER”, not the service members DATE. However you may
be right about the “OLD SCHOOL” comment….I’m interested in knowing how “old
school” you are. Are you even affiliated with any of the Armed Services? Today’s
Military HAS change…..and not for the good; my son just graduated from Boot
Camp this last September and it was a joke compare to what my husband went
there. My son being born into the Marine Corps family he was expected it to be
like when his father went to Boot Camp and when it wasn’t…..well let just say
he was a bit disappointed. Oh yeah lets chat about the changes of the “Don’t
ask, Don’t tell”, shall we. Do you even know what the hell WAR is?????
Okay, Okay, I’m getting off topic here, sorry. A Military
Ball is a celebration of that Services Birthday, (at least it is for the Marine
Corps) this celebration is for the Service Member and “we”, as DATES, have the
great privilege of being invited. The Service Members do have dress codes they
have to follow, as a DATE we do NOT. However with at being said I feel as a
person, you should have some sort of standards within, and for yourself. I do
not go around bouncing my boobs out at any function for that matter, but nor to
I dress down to my Husband. We BOTH shine!!!!!
1. You’re unnecessarily rude
2. Balls are not only for the service’s “birthday” but also for pre and post deployments.
3. You don’t know what war is like either, since you yourself are not the service member.
Food for thought.
Clearly you’re new to the Military….or you have your eyes
closed one. Have you even been to a Military Ball? My husband is a season
Marine in which we have been affiliated with the Marine Corps for over 18
years. If anybody knows TRADITION or OLD SCHOOL that would be me; I’m not sure
what branch of the Military you are with, nor do I care at this point, but the
TRADITON you speak of is for the “SERVICE MEMBER”, not the service members DATE. However you may
be right about the “OLD SCHOOL” comment….I’m interested in knowing how “old
school” you are. Are you even affiliated with any of the Armed Services? Today’s
Military HAS change…..and not for the good; my son just graduated from Boot
Camp this last September and it was a joke compare to what my husband went
there. My son being born into the Marine Corps family he was expected it to be
like when his father went to Boot Camp and when it wasn’t…..well let just say
he was a bit disappointed. Oh yeah lets chat about the changes of the “Don’t
ask, Don’t tell”, shall we. Do you even know what the hell WAR is?????
Okay, Okay, I’m getting off topic here, sorry. A Military
Ball is a celebration of that Services Birthday, (at least it is for the Marine
Corps) this celebration is for the Service Member and “we”, as DATES, have the
great privilege of being invited. The Service Members do have dress codes they
have to follow, as a DATE we do NOT. However with at being said I feel as a
person, you should have some sort of standards within, and for yourself. I do
not go around bouncing my boobs out at any function for that matter, but nor to
I dress down to my Husband. We BOTH shine!!!!!
I don’t think it has anything to do with being “old school”, I think it is having respect for your husband at an event that is for “him” and his fellow soldiers. We as spouses are invited along as guests, and we should respect that. You don’t want to call unnecessary attention to the military member because you have chosen to dress loudly or tactlessly. But again it’s your decision and your spouses decision to take you to the ball. “Birthday” balls are a marine thing, not so for other branches.
I don’t know… NO ONE I know would consider me “old school” and my Marine husband and I definitely don’t conform to traditional gender roles. But I do agree that it’s a night to celebrate military traditions, not to flaunt your lady parts. I don’t see anything wrong with strapless/backless dresses or a MODERATE slit in the skirt, but I think it’s important for a woman to know her own body and what looks suitable for the occasion. A quiet sophistication is always sexier than flaunting everything all at once, IMO.
I’m 5’1 and prefer to wear heels, and I feel more confident in them. But I don’t think they’re a MUST! I definitely wouldn’t suggest Old Navy flip-flops, but cute flats or dressy strappy sandals would be fine for people who felt more comfortable that way, I think.
And for people who don’t wear dresses, I don’t think I’d bat an eye at a nicely tailored pants suit- I’d check sites like offbeatbride.com to see what some women wore to their weddings instead of dresses, and base it off of that!
I guess I’m just saying it’s important to keep it classy in whatever way makes you most comfortable, but that’s just my 2 cents!
I have seen some great dressy pant suits and skirt/blouse combinations as well. Some very sophisticated class. Great suggestions Gammy!
While I would love to wear a long gown my problem is that I am very short (5’0) and finding a gown that fits me is very hard to do. I get tastefully short length gowns that come to my knees or below them due to my height and I’ve never had any problems/issues with wearing that length gown
ii think what shes trying to get across is b tastfull u tutu or short tool bottom is a no go.
I think everyones getting a little worked up on the acrual wording use it as a base yes this is your military members day and they invited you. You can be sexy and classy my step dad is a high rank in the marines n let me tell ypu hes actually lost respect for his marines before because of the way his marines wives n dates dressed/carried them selves dont dress like the bitches off of jersey shore is all its prettu much saying and you should always compliment the blues because your showing off you two as a couple u can be diffrent n stand out but a short hot pink dress with hooker heals isnt the way you will get attention but not from the right ppl. Remember higher ups r there.i keep this in mind when i go with my boyfriend who is a marine n always get loads of compliments from every one.
When do these balls usually happen? Are they usually just for the branch your Service member is in? I really want to attend one, but I don’t know of the CG having any balls.
Typically the traditional military ball is to celebrate the service branch’s birthday. So it would be different for each branch but many units have holiday balls and other military ball celebrations for different events.
I cannot believe in ALL of the comments on hem lines, shoes, color, cut outs and thigh slits, no one has mentioned the classy way to compliment or cover your inappropriate ink choices!
I have lots of ink and I love it! There are ways to show it off in a classy style but some people seem to think a knee length dress highlighting thier oozie toting tweety bird calv tattoo is appropriate. The most beautiful back tattoos can be shown off with grace and style and still be very appropriate for a ball or covered completely. While our ink does show off our personality, remember you’re the supporter, not the star, let them shine. And honestly, while your spouse may enjoy them, do you think the Major or spouse wants to see the butterflies you had tattoed on your boobs when you were 19 during Spring Break?
As for pant’s suits, I have seen several spouses of high rank wear pants suits and they ALWAYS carry it off with style!
Im not sure who posted about the ballroom dance shoes but awesome idea!! I would have never thought about that!!
And just before I get blasted for being old or being new or whatever way you’re going to blast me: married 12 yrs, 6 balls, his rank isnt any of your business and I have lots of ink that would shock your pants off!
You ladies! I read thru some of the comments and I agree with most of you…yes as a whole the military has changed…get on board or get off! I served several terms of service,and quite a few deployments, now I’m a spouse so I can comment from multiple perspectives…honestly NO ONE BUT MILITARY WIFE’S CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE WEARING!!! Seriously the men…all they care about is the fact that you are there to share the day wi them and don’t give a crap about manicured nails heals or fancy up dos…as long as their wife or date is there and not rockin daisy dukes and combat boots….I’ve been to several balls some of which I wore an elegant plain black dress, some of which I’ve worn a hot pink zebra print dress…and honestly I could care less what anyone had to say in regards to my attire….that being said use your best judgement and wear what makes you feel gorgeous!
well i been to 2 events and it is sad that there are spouses in legins and a long shirt i know my husband likes to show of his wife and yes i do all the cutie stuff just like on my wedding day only difference is the dress once a year you get to be a fancy dont let anybody ruin that for you i love it <<<<<<
I spent 26 years in the Air Force with my husband. My advice is: formal means FORMAL and don’t dress like a hooker. Sorry, young ladies, but very short dresses cut low with very high heels looks like a hooker to the older crowd.
It doesn’t matter what year this is…Formal is formal. If an event calls for formal dress, then you choose formal dress. Choose formal dress that is in style but respectful to the occasion. It is disrespectful to disregard military direction, even when that applies to spouses, not just military members. There are events that call for casual wear in which it would be inappropriate to wear formal. For military balls, formal is what is appropriate. My husband was in the US Navy for 20 years, we’ve been married for 22 years now; I speak with experience and we’ve seen everything when it comes to military balls and people look foolish when they don’t dress for the event. Wear what is formal but with your style, keeping in mind that etiquette is still appropriate for the occasion. After you have left that occasion, why not change into something that is not formal and go out on the town? I like to wear pants but I wouldn’t wear pants to a formal occasion. I would certainly change into them afterward and enjoy the rest of the evening with my husband.
I agree with all of your comments regarding respect for tradition and staying classy, but seriously, rules for the styling of dress shoes? Too many straps? Open toed sandal vs a peeptoe? I think we can safely say no flip flops… But it is our SPOUSES who have to wear uniforms… I have worn a lovely plum colored gown (one that covers ALL of my lady bits) with a gorgeous pair of silver heeled sandals, I guarantee no one was concerned about my footwear in the least. I’m all for appropriate, but certainly there is room for style and elegance to coexist!
Give yourself a good look in the mirror and be honest, does the outfit make you look like a sausage, do you need to do more hair removal than usual, do sudden movements make your stuff pop out, will you be uncomfortable if you eat or drink? If you answer yes to any of those questions, it is not appropriate to wear EVER and especially not to a military ball.
Would it be inappropriate if I wore a whitish ivory, lightly patterned simple gown to my husband’s ball? I’m not trying to be bride like or too bright, just found a dress I love but it happens to be an off white/ivory. Thanks for any input!
Wow a lot of comments if the gentlenan doubts the ability of the woman hes asking to attend he should perhaps take an appropriate date such as his sister or cousin. If he is that worried about the immpression his “lady’ would make she is not the one for him. A proper lady would ask for time opinion and input frim experienced individualss and do her best not to be offensive to anyones delicate sensibilitys
Geez, it’s not that hard. Show some class and come looking appropriate. There will be high-ranking officers there, members of CoC’s, and guest speakers, not to mention FEMALE SERVICE MEMBERS who will probably judge you for looking trashy at their ball. (Yeah, we rock the dress uniform and then have to change into a dress!)
I will be attending my first Military Ball (Army) this year and I found a dress I absolutely love…I’ve been reading and reading and reading about the dress code…Is it ok to wear black even though my soldier will be in his mess dress? I’ve seen people say to wear red or gold, but then it says don’t go loud…both of those are pretty noticeable colors if you ask me…I also thought about going Navy blue instead of black. Any comments would be very welcome! I’ve posted the link to the dress below.
http://www.aliexpress.com/item/2012-New-Sexy-Mermaid-Strapless-Beaded-Stretch-Satin-Silver-Color-Evening-Dresses-OL112908/478328423.html?src=sn&af=sn_pinterest&cn=feedback_coupon&isdl=y#anchor-full-item-description
This will be my first military ball and I was wondering what you all thought about my choice of dress… More specifically the color and length. I have a floor length gown that is a rosey-pink color which I love.. on the other hand, I have a shorter knee length dress in red but not really a deep red. I also have a plain black dress that is too short and goes to my ankles that I am sure I could easily hem. I asked my husband what he thought and he doesn’t really seem to care he just says he will love me in anything I wear. can someone help me out with some advice please?
I’m 5 months pregnant and I have on idea what to put on! I want floor length but what about flats heals scare me! Also what about straps? Halter? Baby doll style? Show the belly off or try to hide it really good? Everyone knows I’m pregnant but I don’t want to over power my husbands uniform!
HELP!!!!
-Carly
Show off your belly! There are a lot of cute full length maternity gowns these days!
I recently had a spinal fusion and have an 18 inch scar going down my back. I used to think my scar was ugly and would never show it or wear swim suits in the summer, now I’ve noticed that showing my scar makes me feel stronger. Looking for gowns to wear, naturally I’ve favored the backless floor length dresses. I’m curious as to weather or not that would be looked at as an inappropriate dress or if that is acceptable. I don’t want something I wear to cause my date to be looked down upon because he brought me with him. I feel like everyone is not only looking at him but everyone will look at me as an extension of him. Any thoughts?
http://www.lafemmefashion.com/dress_style_search/16013
My husband and I are attending our first military ball this summer. I’ve been looking all over for a “classy, non-reviewing” gown to wear. Im 25 and was raised to be more on the modest side anyway. .. I found a dress that I’m in love with!! One shoulder, empire waist, not slit, little blig on the sholder/back spraps gown .. But it does have a bit of a low back to it. So my question is this .. Just because it has a low back does that make it inappropriate?? Would really love your input. Thanks
I think it sounds like a rocking dress! Really with all things it all comes down to your decision. This article wasn’t written as “hard and fast rules” I just wanted people to know the general aspects of the event and what has “traditionally” been expected of women at military balls. You are free to rock the boat if you would like… but at least you will be informed if you do. I think your dress sounds lovely though and I think it is tasteful without being too stuffy looking.
What is etiquette on bringing kids? I’m against it, but, I’ve been known to be wrong…that one time.
For most military balls this is absolutely not appropriate. I have seen father-daughter balls and special events that are meant to have children at them but I would save it for an event where kids are on the invitation.
Ladies, also take into consideration the geographical location. Some cities are more relaxed than others.
I am a military officer’s wife and have been to many Balls. And just remember, it is Ball (very formal), so men and women need to wear formal attire. You cannot be overdressed.
You never have another chance to make a “first impression” and you are always a reflection on your servicemember.
So long as you act respective, courteous, follow what other military spouse/guests do, don’t overdrink, and definitely don’t dress like a hooker, you will be fine and have a lovely evening.
My brother suggested I would possibly like this web site. He was once entirely right. This publish truly made my day. You cann’t believe just how so much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!
One Trackback
[...] wear. They might make a fun addition to a homecoming outfit or could be perfect for a military ball, with a bit of a glamorous touch. See the full 4 step tutorial on NailPro’s [...]